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Quotes of the Week - March 16, 2010:
"Listen, he's a nice person, but he couldn't sell watermelons if you gave him the state troopers to flag down traffic." -- Former CBS newsd anchor Dan Rather on Barack Obama.

"A ban on eating would show China has reached a new level of civilization." --Chinese professor Chang Jiwen on China considering making the eating cats and dogs illegal.

"We used to hustle on over the border for health care...And I think, isn't that kind of ironic now." -- Sarah Palin, former governer of Alaska, admits her family used to go to Canada for medical treatment when she was a child. Canada has a single-payer system, which Palin opposes.

Authors: American Dad Quotes, Famous American Dad Quotes Sayings

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Roger the Alien: God! Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay?
American Dad

Jack Smith: Son, breaking into a vault is like making love to a woman.
Stan Smith: Right, so we should pound on it for, like, two minutes?
Jack Smith: No, you've got to gently work the dials until she surrenders. And it opens.
American Dad

Steve Smith: I can't believe I'm gonna die a virgin.
Francine Smith: Aw, sweetie, there was a 70-80% chance of that happening, anyway.
American Dad

Avery Bullock: The last 20 years of your wife's memory have been erased.
Stan Smith: Well, go ahead and undo it.
Avery Bullock: Reverse brain erasing? Now, that's just science fiction.
CIA Temp: Kind of like the female orgasm.
American Dad

Old lady [spitting at the Lincoln Memorial]: That's for freein' the slaves, ya negro-lovin' Yankee Devil!
American Dad

Francine Smith: We're so glad you could make it. Where's your wife this evening?
Avery Bullock: Handcuffed to a radiator in Fallujah. She wanted to come, but I do not negotiate with terrorists. Hey, do I smell meat loaf?
American Dad

[Stan is about to shoot Roger; Francine, Hayley and Steve stand in the way]
Stan Smith: Nobody threatens my family! Now get out of the way or I'll shoot you all!
Hayley Smith: Oh, God, it's my junior prom all over again.
American Dad

[Stan brings home a baby to replace Hayley when she moves out]
Roger the Alien: Is that a Chinese baby?
Stan Smith: Sure is! Japanese, to be specific.
American Dad

[Roger calling Hayley on the phone]
Roger the Alien: Hayley? Roger. Got a sec?
Hayley Smith: Roger? Whoah! Is this one of those Twilight Zone phones where I can talk to the dead, but only with horrible, ironic consequences?
Roger the Alien: Oh, right, it's past noon, you're already high.
American Dad

Stan Smith: Son, if you ever get captured by any terrorists in the neighborhood and end up on Al-Jazeera, just blink your location in Morse code. I'll have a bomb dropped on your location immediately.
Steve Smith: But, Dad, then I'd get killed too.
Stan Smith: Ah, come on son, there are plenty of kids to play with in heaven. Your cousin Billy. That little girl from Poltergeist. She must be about 16 by now, you could totally tap that.
American Dad

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American Dad is a satirical animated American TV series, first broadcast in 2005. It follows the events of CIA agent Stan Smith and his family.