In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out.
Larry Goetz

Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only time we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.
Dick Gregory

I am convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile.
Thomas Campbell Clark

Every great batter works on the theory that the pitcher is more afraid of him than he is of the pitcher.
Ty Cobb

You can't tell how much spirit a team has until it starts losing.
Rocky Colavito

Any pitcher who throws at a batter and deliberately tries to hit him is a communist.
Alvin Dark

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Author Unknown

The pitcher wound up and he flang the ball at the batter. The batter swang and missed. The pitcher flang the ball again and this time the batter connected. He hit a high fly right to the center fielder. The center fielder was all set to catch the ball, but at the last minute his eyes were blound by the sun and he dropped it.
Dizzy Dean

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Phyllis Diller

You don't save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain.
Leo Durocher

People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.
Rogers Hornsby

A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a great body who also knows the American League box scores.
M*A*S*H
Klinger, Bug-Out.

Baseball and cricket are beautiful and highly stylized medieval war substitutes, chess made flesh, a mixture of proud chivalry and base - in both senses - greed.
John Fowles

It gets late early out there.
Yogi Berra
His explanation for missing a ball in the sun.

People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000.
Pete Incaviglia

The best possible thing in baseball is winning the World Series. The second best thing is losing the World Series.
Tommy Lasorda

The last words to the 'Star Spangled Banner?' 'Play ball!'
Author Unknown

I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up I change bats . . . After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?
Yogi Berra

Nelly Kelly was sure some fan,
She would root just like any man,
Told the umpire he was wrong,
All along, good and strong.
When the score was just two to two,
Nelly Kelly knew what to do,
Just to cheer up the boys she knew,
She made the gang sing this song.
Let me root, root, root for the home team.
Jack Norworth

Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowd.
Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack,
I don't care if I never get back.
Let me root, root root for the home team.
If they don't win it's a shame,
For it's one, two, three strikes you're out
At the old ball game.
Jack Norworth

I never threw an illegal pitch. The trouble is, once in a while I toss one that ain't never been seen by this generation.
Satchel Paige

There are peaks and valleys in this game. We're in a valley - Death Valley.
Kirby Puckett

Hit the ball over the fence and you can take your time going around the bases.
John W. Raper

Baseball is like a poker game, nobody wants to quit when he's losing: nobody wants you to quit when you're ahead.
Jackie Robinson

Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes.
Will Rogers

Hating the (New York) Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.
Mike Royko

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.
George Bernard Shaw

I believe in the church of baseball. I've tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan . . . The only church that feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the church of baseball.
Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon)
Bull Durham (movie), script Ron Shelton.

I never realized how boring this game was. (watching baseball while sober)
Homer Simpson

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.
Casey Stengel