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Happy Christmas Quotes 3

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I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.
Harlan Miller

If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to the Smurfs, and it's going to happen to us.
Bart Simpson

It is every little girl's dream to be
The fairy on a Christmas tree.
A wand in her hand,
A smile on her face.
And a tree in a most peculiar place.
Spike Milligan

Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard which hides his face, has no discernible source of income, and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?
Tom Armstrong
From Marvin.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white man would be coming into my neighborhood after dark.
Dick Gregory

O come all ye faithful, Joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.
Frederick Oakeley

O little town of Bethlehem,
How still we see thee lie;
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by.
Phillips Brooks

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge

The price of Christmas toys is outrageous -- a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters. I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride in.
He played in the box it came in.
It taught me a very valuable lesson. Next year he got a box. And I got a hundred dollars' worth of scotch.
Johnny Carson

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Jay Leno

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.
Bob Phillips

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
Clement C. Moore

Until one feels the spirit of it, there is no Christmas. All else is outward display, so much tinsel and decorations. For it isn't the holly, the snow, the tree, not the firelight's glow. It's the warmth that comes to the hearts of men when it returns again.
Author Unknown

We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Good tidings we bring to you and your kin;
Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding;
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding;
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer
English 16th century Christmas carol

Calvin: Well. I've decided I do believe in Santa Claus, no matter how preposterous he sounds.
Hobbes: What convinced you?
Calvin: A simple risk analysis. I want presents. Lots of presents. Why risk not getting them over a matter of belief? Heck, I'll believe anything they want.
Hobbes: How cynically enterprising of you.
Calvin: It's the spirit of Christmas.
Calvin and Hobbes strip by Bill Watterson

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller

What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it.
Bart Simpson
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