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Authors: CSI Quotes, Best CSI Quotes, CSI Sayings from TV series
Gil Grissom: I don't trust people, they tend to lie. Evidence nevers lies.
CSI

Gil Grissom: According to Freud, the only abnormal sexual behavior is to have none at all.
CSI

Mac Taylor: There are three things that I'll protect at any cost. The honor of this country, the safety of this city, and the integrity of this lab.
CSI

Mac Taylor: I'm a Marine you little punk. I've put men in the ground in foreign soil so you can sleep at night, but you wouldn't know anything about that, would ya' kid? Let me tell you something about the mob. Back in their heyday, these oldtimers, they dealt in death and violence, because of one thing: business. Not sport. They were smart. You punks are idiots.
CSI

Mac Taylor: Gooey? There's a good forensic word. Gooey. I'll have to use that more.
CSI

Jim Brass: Nice stare. Too bad it doesn’t work on me. Keep it though – they’ll love it in prison.
CSI

Catherine Willows: Write this down: I haven't had sex in six - no, seven months.
CSI

Horatio Caine: Tomorrow's what you make of it.
CSI

Horatio Caine: Mr. Wolfe, at the end of the day, if we don't hang together, we'll die alone.
CSI

Gil Grissom: What we are never changes, but who we are never stops changing.
CSI

Gil Grissom: Did you know that pigs are very intelligent animals? Right behind chimps, dolphins, and elephants.
Warrick Brown: Ahead of dogs?
Gil Grissom: And certain politicians.
CSI

Mac Taylor: Aiden's on rodent patrol, I'm waiting to do a rat-topsy.
CSI

Mac Taylor: You're not a doctor. You're a murderer with a medical degree.
CSI

Greg Sanders: Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer. Swab one down, run it through CODIS, ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall.
CSI

Jim Brass: Newsflash. You can't make a deal if you keep your mouth shut.
CSI

Suspect:You won't be able to prove a thing
Horatio Caine:That is a really dumb thing to say to a CSI.
CSI

Horatio Caine: You know what they say "You lie down with the Devil, you wake up in Hell".
CSI

Catherine Willows: If something doesn't feel right to you, it usually isn't.
CSI

Gil Grissom: I was flying to a seminar in New Hampshire a couple of summers ago. I was sitting in the plane next to a Philosophy Professor from Harvard. He told me this story about how every morning he takes a leak right after his three-hour philosophy class. He flushed the toilet there'd be this tiny brown spider fighting for its life against the swirling water. He came back the next day, flush. Same spider, clawing its way back from oblivion. A week goes by, he decides to liberate the spider. Grabs a paper towel, Scoops him up and sets him on the floor in the corner of the stall. Comes back the next day and what do you think happened to the spider?
CSI

Gil Grissom: What you do on your time is your business. What you do on my time is my business.
CSI

Megan Donner: Who would want to kill a priest?
Horatio Caine: Nowadays Anyone.
CSI

Horatio Caine [about a suspect]: He is a liar. I just don't know what the lie is yet.
CSI

Gil Grissom: It was in the days of public hangings that people first noticed that men would get erections and sometimes even ejaculate. They called it "The Killer Orgasm."
CSI

Sara Sidle: Gil, You know I love you. I feel I've loved you forever. Lately I haven't been feeling very well truth be told I'm tired out in the desert that night I realized something and I haven't been able to shake it. Since my father died I've spent almost my entire life with ghost we've been like close friends and out there in the desert it occurred to me that it was time for me to bury them I can't do that here. I'm so sorry. No matter how hard i try to fight it off I'm left with the feeling that i have to go. I have no idea where I'm going but I know I have to do this it if don't I'm afraid I'll self destruct and worst you'll be there to see it happen. Be safe. Know that I try very hard to stay. Know that you are my one and only. I will miss you with every beat of my heart. Our life together was the only home I ever really had I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love you..... I always will. Goodbye.
CSI

Gil Grissom: A guy kills two people before breakfast that he had no intention of killing that morning. By all accounts, he's lead a meager, unnoticed life and all of a sudden, in a flash, it's over. And now, for him, the real suffering begins.
CSI

Catherine Willows: Well, you ever try shaking your ass in four-inch heels? Don't answer that.
CSI

Sara Sidle: When I was in college, I had this boyfriend--and I thought we were monogamous. Then one night during the post-coital pantie search, he handed me a pair of underwear that wasn't mine.
CSI

Jim Brass: Hey Gil, what's that stuck to the bottom of your shoe? Oh, it's just Sanders...
CSI

Calleigh Duquesne [in stand-off with a suspect]: There are two ways this goes down, and either way, you're dropping the gun.
CSI

Gil Grissom: By the way, the definition of "retard" is "to hinder" or "to hold back". I think your life is about to become "retarded".
CSI

Horatio Caine: Before you go. I wanted to show you a photograph. Take a look at that. Do you know who that is? That's your daughter. This is what she would have looked like on her second birthday had you not killed her and her mother. Every year on this child's birthday. I am going to haunt you. I am going to be all over you until I get what I need to put you in jail. Understand?
CSI

[Couple is getting a divorce and the wife turns up dead]
Det. Frank Tripp: No matter how you cut it, divorce sucks.
Horatio Caine: Frank, it's a killer.
CSI

Nick Stokes: [after Greg Sanders opens a cupboard and pulls out a book] I thought that's where you kept your porn.
Greg Sanders: I move it around.
CSI

Gil Grissom: It's a Bat gate, keeps people out and lets bats in.
Nick Stokes: Who puts the gates in?
Grissom: BAT MAN.
CSI

David Phillips: When I was a waiter, back in collage. If I had three 20's in my pocket it was a good night.
Sara Sidle: At Chuck-E-Cheese that was a good week.
CSI

Gil Grissom: Question. You come home, see your husband lying in the driveway, what do you do?
Greg Sanders: ...Is that a trick question?
CSI

Gil Grissom: Anybody who is great at anything, does it for their own approval.
CSI

Catherine Willows: Definitely a crime of passion.
Gil Grissom: You think a female did this?
Catherine Willows: I could have.
Gil Grissom: I'm scared of you.
CSI

Gil Grissom: We're a fat country, Nick.
CSI
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (also known as CSI: Las Vegas) is American crime drama television series, which premiered on CBS on October 6, 2000. Two of its spin-offs are CSI: NY (Crime Scene Investigation: New York) and CSI: Miami (Crime Scene Investigation: Miami).


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