I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness
Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition
results in promotion to a job you can't do.
Last week I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had
ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now
wish to withdraw that statement.
Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow.
Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just
go in every day, and do it really half-assed. That's the American
Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer
sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love may be blind, but it can sure find its way around in
Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With
female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male
menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.
Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the
sex. It's also the food preparation.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation
with the maximum of opportunity.
George Bernard Shaw
Men are all alike - except the one you've met who's different.
Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten
Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating
goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men
are like portable heaters that snore.
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Men like women with a past because they hope history will
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more
pleasant form of misery.
Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads.
One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other
to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to
Most of the time I don't have any fun. The rest of the time
I don't have any fun at all.
Mr. Right is coming. But he's in Africa and he's walking.
My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should
have taken a second look.
My father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.
My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all.
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf
On US soldiers attacking Baghdad.
My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed
legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing will
begin in five minutes.
US president during radio microphone
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if
I had been one.
My name is Saddam Hussein. I am the president of Iraq, and
I want to negotiate.
To US troops who captured him in a hole
in the ground near Tikrit.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out
My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop
or our marriage would have been wrecked.
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech - every now
and then she stops to breathe.