Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly
as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. Michael Green The Art of Coarse Golf, 1967.
Golf is like life in a lot of ways - All the biggest wounds
are self-inflicted. Bill Clinton
Golf is not just an exercise; it's an adventure, a romance...
a Shakespeare play in which disaster and comedy are intertwined. Harold Segall
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people
than golf has. Will Rogers
A golf course outside a big town serves an excellent purpose
in that it segregates, as though a concentration camp, all
the idle and idiot well-to-do. Osbert Sitwell
Playing the game I have learned the meaning of humility.
It has given me an understanding of futility of the human
effort. Abba Eban
If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast.
If God wants to play through, let him. Bob Hope
If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a
hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. Author Unknown
If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw
it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste
energy going back to pick it up. Tommy Bolt
I don't like to watch golf on television because I can't
stand people who whisper. David Brenner
One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom
lose a bowling ball. Don Carter
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles. G. K. Chesterton
Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across
a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the
PGA Tour. Author Unknown
My handicap? Woods and irons. Chris Codiroli
Even God has to practice his putting. Golf Saying
Golf: A game in which you claim the privileges of age and
retain the playthings of youth. Author Unknown Often attributed to Samuel Johnson, who
never said it about golf but wrote this: "It is unjust
to claim the privileges of age, and retain the play-things of
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful woman - and
you can keep the golf clubs and fresh air. Jack Benny
Golf is essentially an exercise in masochism conducted out-of-doors. Paul O'Neil
There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends,
play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies. Author Unknown
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long
walks and hitting things with a stick. P.J. O'Rourke
No man has mastered golf until he realizes that his good
shots are accidents and his bad shots are good exercise. Eugene R. Black
Golf is the cruelest of sports. Like life, it's unfair. It's
a harlot. A trollop. It leads you on. It never lives up to
its promises.... It's a boulevard of broken dreams. It plays
with men. And runs off with the butcher. Jim Murray
The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they
would not be caught dead in otherwise. Roger Simon
Golf is an open exhibition of overweening ambition, courage
deflated by stupidity, skill scoured by a whiff of arrogance. Alistair Cooke
The sport of choice for the urban poor is basketball. The
sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling.
The sport of choice for front-line workers is football. The
sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of
choice for middle management is tennis. The sport of choice
for corporate officers is golf. Conclusion: The higher you
are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become. Author Unknown
The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight
is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses
heard plus the number of swishes. Michael Green The Art of Coarse Golf, 1967.
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts
because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows. P.G. Wodehouse
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. Paul Gallico
Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players
well. Art Rosenbaum
A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors. Barry Fitzgerald Going My Way.
Through years of experience I have found that air offers
less resistance than dirt. Jack Nicklaus On why he tees his ball high.
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what
you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close
to having a perfect golf swing. Ben Hogan
All I've got against it is that it takes you so far from
the clubhouse. Eric Linklater Poet's Pub, 1929.
"After all, golf is only a game," said Millicent.
Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean
that there is a kink in their character. They simply don't
realise what they are saying. P.G. Wodehouse Order by Golf, 1922.