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Authors: Dr. Gregory House Quotes, Best Houseisms from TV series House M.D.
House MD Quotes 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5
Cameron: You can't diagnose that without a biopsy.
House: Yes, we can, we treat it. If she gets better we know that we're right.
Cameron: And if we're wrong?
House: We learn something else.
House, M.D.

House: Pretty much all the drugs I prescribe are addictive and dangerous.
House, M.D.

House: I've been a Doctor for years why do I have to keep assuring people I know what I'm doing?
House, M.D.

House: We breed these superbugs, now they're all grown up and they got body peircings and a lot of anger.
House, M.D.

House: Isn't it interesting... religious behavior is so close to being crazy that we can't tell them apart.
House, M.D.

Taub: You don't have clinic duty today.
House: Who says it's a duty?
House, M.D.

House: We were both wrong, not equally wrong. You were at least six more wronger than me.
House, M.D.

House: The most successful marriages are based on lies. You're off to a great start!
House, M.D.

Team: We've got rectal bleeding.
House: What, all of you?
House, M.D.

House: I've been a doctor for years why do I have to keep assuring people I know what I'm doing?
House, M.D.

House: The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth.
House, M.D.

House: Hang up a shingle and condemn the narrowness and greed of Western medicine, you'd make a damn fine living.
House, M.D.

House: The most successful marriages are based on lies.
House, M.D.

House: Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?
Cuddy: Are you high?
House: If it's Tuesday, I'm wasted.
Cuddy: It's Wednesday.
House, M.D.

House: Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're 90, sometimes before we're even born, but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it. I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass. It's always ugly. Always. You can live with dignity, we can't die with it.
House, M.D.

House: I ask you, is almost dying any reason for not being fun?
House, M.D.

House: That was awesome. I gotta start pretending to care.
House, M.D.

Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House; you can call me Greg. I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning. This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor employed at this hospital who is forced to be here against his will. That is true, isn't it? But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you are particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine! You can't have any. And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem... but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me?
House, M.D.

House: The great thing about telling somebody they're dying is it tends to focus their priorities. You find out what matters to them. What they're willing to die for. What they're willing to lie for.
House, M.D.

House: Half the people I save don't deserve a second chance.
House, M.D.

Nun: Sister Augustine believes in things that aren't real.
House: I thought that was a job requirement for you people.
House, M.D.

House: Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything.
House, M.D.

House: Keep talking. I'll finish your exam with a prostate check.
House, M.D.

House: If you're here to kill me and rape me, please do it in that order.
House, M.D.

House: I don't care much for apologies.
House, M.D.

House: Someone's gonna be miserable someone's it. That's how I stay so happy.
House, M.D.

House: My friends call me 'the cane.' Even before I messed up my leg.
House, M.D.

House: I'm a jerk to everyone. Best way to protect yourself from lawsuits.
House, M.D.

House: Are you comparing me to God? I mean, that's great, but just so you know, I've never made a tree.
House, M.D.

House: My life is just one horror after another.
House, M.D.

House: Why don't you want to work for me? I'm nice, fun at parties.
House, M.D.

House: No, let them watch. I do my best work on the big stage.
House, M.D.
House MD Quotes 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5
House (also known as House, M.D.): American TV medical drama that debuted on Fox network on November 16, 2004. Central character is Dr. Gregory House (played by Hugh Laurie), noted for his sarcastic wit and cutting one-liners. Other characters include Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Dr. James Wilson and Dr. Allison Cameron.



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