I think I've lost 3lbs - I'm very, very happy. I thought of
it as work and a spa.
Joan Rivers
Commenting on the horrendous heat at the
58th annual Emmy Awards in Los Angeles, 2006 |
My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the
Holiday Inn.
Joan Rivers
At 72 |
A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her
like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
Joan Rivers |
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.
Joan Rivers |
Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't
dress.
Joan Rivers |
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel
as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the
counsel is wise.
Joan Rivers |
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect
you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, "Melissa
you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep."
Joan Rivers |
Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone
directory.
Joan Rivers |
Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.
Joan Rivers |
He who limps is still walking.
Joan Rivers |
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