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Authors: Joan Rivers Quotes, Famous Joan Rivers Quotes Quotations Sayings
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I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was "the man goes on top and the woman underneath." For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
Joan Rivers
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Joan Rivers
I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Joan Rivers
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
Joan Rivers
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."
Joan Rivers
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers: American comedian. Born 1933.



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