It's not the despair, I can take the despair.
It's the hope I can't stand. John Cleese As school headmaster Brian Stimpson in
Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look -
please try to understand before one of us dies. John Cleese
I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one
desire, and that's to get rid of all my other desires. John Cleese
Think what I'd have had to pay Alyce if she'd contributed anything
to the relationship. John Cleese On his latest divorce in August 2009.
You do realize as you grow older that almost nobody knows what
they are talking about. John Cleese Fawlty Towers star remembers all those
TV executives who told him that a comedy set in a hotel would
Oh German! Im sorry. I thought there was something wrong
with you. John Cleese As Basil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers.
Theyre Germans. Dont mention the war. John Cleese As Basil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers.
Our experts describe you as an appallingly dull fellow, unimaginative,
timid, lacking in initiative, spineless, easily dominated, no
sense of humor, tedious company and irrepressibly drab and awful.
And whereas in most professions these would be considerable
drawbacks, in chartered accountancy they are a positive boon. John Cleese As Guidance Counselor, Monty Pythons
I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster
and your father smells of elderberries! John Cleese As the Frenchman, Monty Python and the
And now for something completely different . . . John Cleese As Newsreader, Monty Python's Flying Circus.
"I have $9m left. It's a decent amount and I'm not looking
for sympathy, but it isn't an awful lot for someone who has
been at the top of his profession for 40 years. John Cleese After paying his third ex-wife $16m, May
The son whines to his father, "You messed up my childhood!"
And the father says, "How could I, son? I wasn't even there." John Cleese
If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he
make them out of meat? John Cleese
The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip. John Cleese
It's not pining. It's passed on. This parrot is no more. It
has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This
is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in
peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing
up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir
invisible. THIS IS AN EX-PARROT. John Cleese As Mr. Praline, Monty Python's Flying Circus.
If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking,
"Do you want fries with that?" John Cleese
If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which
makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to
laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you
acknowledge its truth. John Cleese
He who laughs most, learns best. John Cleese
The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father
used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas
Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was
a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult
bit was getting out of the sack. John Cleese
John Cleese - British comedian, actor,
writer and film producer. He was born in October, Somerset, England,
on October 27, 1939. He was a member of Monty Pyton, the comedy team
responsible for the hit TV show Monty Python's Flying Circus and four
Monty Python movies. He was the star and co-writer of the classic
British sitcom Fawlty Towers.