|Lois Griffin: Peter! You're bribing your daughter with a car?
Peter Griffin: Aw, c'mon Lois, isn't 'bribe' just another word
|Peter Griffin: We all know that no women anywhere wants to
have sex with anyone and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise
is - is just bogus.
Lois Griffin: Ah, he is so right on. Women are such teases.
That's why I went back to men.
|Lois Griffin: Together we can do anything: face any foe, overcome
Peter Griffin: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial
any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones.
Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else
gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team!
Brian Griffin: What the hell are you talking about?
|Lois Griffin: Honey, what do you say we uh...christen these
new sheets, huh?
Peter: Why Lois Griffin, you naughty girl.
Lois Griffin: Hehehe...that's me.
Peter Griffin: You dirty hustler.
Lois Griffin: Hehehehe...
Peter Griffin: You filthy, stinky prostitute.
Lois Griffin: Aha, ok I get it...
Peter Griffin: You foul, venereal disease carrying, street walking
Lois Griffin: Alright, that's enough!
|[At the grocery store]
Man: Wow, Lois Griffin, Hey, I love your act! Nice melons.
Peter Griffin: Now listen pal!
Lois Griffin: Peter, I'm holding melons.
Peter Griffon: Oh
Man: And her hooters ain't bad either.
Peter Griffon: Now hold on a second.
Lois Griffin: Peter! I'm holding hooters!
Peter Griffin: Oh, sorry.
Man: No problem. [pause] Man: Your wife's hot.
Peter Griffin: Alright that's it!
|Lois Griffin: Peter, there's a hooker on the bed!
Peter Griffin: Stand perfectly still Lois, their vision is based
Hooker: Where'd you go?
|Lois Griffin: What's going on down here?
Stewie Griffin: Oh, we're playing house.
Lois Griffin: That boy's all tied up.
Stewie Griffin: Roman Polanski's house.
|Lois Griffin: I care about the size of your penis as much
as you care about the size of my breasts.
Peter Griffin: Oh my God! [runs off crying]
|Lois Griffin: Peter tell Chris that women are not objects!
Peter Griffin: Your mother's right Chris, listen to what it
|Lois Griffin: Stewie why don't you play in the other room?
Stewie Griffin: Why don't you burn in hell?