Quotes of the Week - Aug 24, 2010:
"Barack Obama is the worst President in history." -- Ben Quayle,
son of former US Vice President.
"He is a bit old." -- Fabio Capello, England soccer coach,
saying he doesn't plan to pick David Beckham, 35, for any more competitive
matches.
"I am not on the Earth to be bullied by women journalists who envy
my freedom, my courage, my talent and my arse. I have a fantastic arse."
-- Sinead O'Connor, singer, resents criticism of her recent wedding.
"I'm no Tom Jones but I'm doing better than Nick Clegg." --
UK X Factor finalist Olly Murs, reveals his sexual conquests now number
more than 30.
Authors: Monty Python Quotes,
Famous Monty Python Quotes Quotations Sayings
Brian's Mother: He's not the messiah. He's a very naughty
boy! Monty Python's Life of Brian
Brian: I'm not a Roman mum, I'm a kike, a yid, a heebie, a
hook-nose, I'm kosher mum, I'm a Red Sea pedestrian, and proud
of it! Monty Python's Life of Brian
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life... Monty Python's Life of Brian Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
- song
King Arthur: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take
your castle by force!
French Guard: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and
boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at
you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets.
Thpppppt! Thppt!Thppt!
Galahad: What a strange person.
King Arthur: Now look here, my good man--
French Guard: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed
animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction!
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Galahad: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
French Guard: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second
time-a! Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
King Arthur: Who are you?
Head Knight: We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'! Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through
twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade
up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade,
that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in
thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did
feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and
orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large
chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou
take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no
more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count,
and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt
thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou
then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number
three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou
thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being
naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's
arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
French Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go
and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my
nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all
your silly English K-nig-hts. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Catholic Dad (singing): Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Catholic Daughter (singing): Let the heathens spill theirs,
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay,
For each sperm that can't be found. Monty Python's The Meaning of Life Every Sperm is Sacred - song
Monty Python: Monty Python's Flying
Circus (1969-1974) was a BBC television comedy series conceived, written
and performed by Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric
Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin. The Monty Python team also made
a series of movies including Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975),
Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979), Monty Python Live at the Hollywood
Bowl (concert movie 1982) and Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983).
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