If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic,
you're Jewish. Lennie Bruce
The Bronx? No Thonx! Ogden Nash
New York Taxi Rules:
1. Driver speaks no English.
2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal.
3. Driver hates you. Dave Barry
The only real advantage of New York is that all its inhabitants
ascend to heaven right after their deaths, having served their
full term in hell right on Manhattan Island. Barnard Bulletin
An interesting thing about New York City is that the subways
run through the sewers. Garrison Keillor
There's no room for amateurs, even in crossing the streets. George Segal
New York is an exciting town where something is happening
all the time, most of it unsolved. Johnny Carson
Hating the New York Yankees is as American as pizza pie,
unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax. Mike Royko
I love short trips to New York; to me it is the finest three-day
town on earth. James Cameron
New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment
a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a
wild goat. Brendan Behan
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number
of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move. David Letterman
New York is the only city in the world where you can get
deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian. Russell Baker
The state bird of New York is the Jaywalk. Archie Bulger
I miss the animal buoyancy of New York, the animal vitality.
I did not mind that it had no meaning and no depth. Anais Nin
A person who speaks good English in New York sounds like
a foreigner. Jackie Mason
It's not Mecca, it just smells like it. Neil Simon California Suite.
I've been a New Yorker for ten years, and the only people
who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies. P. J. O'Rourke
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. David Letterman
One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much
in five minutes as in five years. Thomas Wolfe
It's much better to be a neurotic in New York than in Nashville.
There they liked me but they didn't understand me. Here they
like me and understand me. Stanley Siegel
New York: Skyscraper National Park. John Updike
When youre in New York City, always keep your money
and other valuables in a safe place, such as Switzerland. Dave Barry
New York is a place where the rich walk, the poor drive Cadillacs,
and beggars die of malnutrition with thousands of dollars
hidden in their mattresses. Duke Ellington
New York is the dirtiest, largest, ugliest, broken-down city
in the world-but it's the only one. Isaac Stern
I live in New York, and I was thinking about the lagoon in
Central Park, down near Central Park South. I was wondering
if it would be frozen over when I got home, and if it was,
where did the ducks go? I was wondering where the ducks went
when the lagoon got all icy and frozen over. I wondered if
some guy came in a truck and took them away to a zoo or something.
Or if they just flew away. J. D. Salinger The Catcher in the Rye.
You're never alone in New York, the city is your date. Sarah Jessica Parker As Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City.
New York makes one think of the collapse of civilization, about
Sodom and Gomorrah, the end of the world. The end wouldn't come
as a surprise here. Many people already bank on it. Saul Bellew
New York is like living inside Stephen King's brain during
an aneuryism. Kevin Rooney
It seemed almost intolerably shining, secure and well-dressed,
as though it was continually going to gay parties while London
had to stay at home and do the housework. Noël Coward