Quotes of the Week - March 16, 2010:
"Listen, he's a nice person, but he couldn't sell watermelons if
you gave him the state troopers to flag down traffic." -- Former
CBS newsd anchor Dan Rather on Barack Obama.
"A ban on eating would show China has reached a new level of civilization."
--Chinese professor Chang Jiwen on China considering making the eating
cats and dogs illegal.
"We used to hustle on over the border for health care...And I think,
isn't that kind of ironic now." -- Sarah Palin, former governer
of Alaska, admits her family used to go to Canada for medical treatment
when she was a child. Canada has a single-payer system, which Palin
opposes.
Authors: Peter Griffin Quotes,
Famous Peter Griffin Quotes, Sayings
Peter Griffin [watching TV with Meg]: Who needs Brian? I have
you to hang with me. [Starts talking to Meg like a dog as he's
pointing at the TV.] Who that? Who that? Is that a dog, is it?
Is that a dog right there? Look, see, see, Meg? Go get it! See?
See the dog on TV? Who's the dog on TV?
Meg Griffin [yells at Peter]: I'm not a dog, you fat bastard!!! Family Guy
Chris Griffin: Dad, can you help me with my math homework?
Peter Griffin: Math. Math my dear boy is nothing more than the
lesbian sister of biology. Family Guy
Lois Griffin: Peter, my God, you look terrible. What happened?
Peter Griffin [slowly]: I was raped.
Lois Griffin [chuckles]: What?
Peter Griffin: Dr. Hartman violated me. He took my innocence.
Lois Griffin [chuckles harder]: W-What?
[Peter whispers in her ear]
Lois Griffin: Peter, that's a prostate exam. It's an important
part of a physical for a man your age.
Peter Griffin: YOU SOUND JUST LIKE HIM! [runs off, sobbing]
Lois Griffin: Fucking idiot. Family Guy
Lois Griffin: So doctor, is Peter healthy?
Doctor: My goodness, you'll be dead within a month.
Peter Griffin: What?
Doctor [revealing comic he was reading]: Oh, Hagar the Horrible,
if you keep up that lifestyle of pillaging and eating giant
turkey legs, you'll be dead within a month. Now, onto you.
Peter Griffin: So, what do you think? Pretty healthy, eh?
Doctor: Well, Mr. Griffin, let's take a look at your physical
results. Argh! There's a spider in here. Now, here we go. Mr
Griffin, you're going to expire in a month.
Peter/Lois: Argh!
Doctor: This is your driver's licence, isn't it? Now, unfortunately,
I'm afraid you're going to die...
Peter Griffin: Argh!
Doctor: ...when you watch these Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts.
Lois Griffin: Will you just tell us how Peter's health is?!
Doctor: Ah, Mr. Griffin, I'm not quite sure how to say this.
Kim Bassinger? Bass singer? Bassinger? But now, onto the cancer.
Lois Griffin: Oh my goodness!
Doctor: You are a Cancer, right? You were born in July? Now
onto these test results. My, they're much worse than I thought.
Peter/Lois: Oh!
Doctor: My son got a D minus on his history test. Now Mr Griffin,
that liver's got to come out.
Lois Griffin: What?!
Doctor: It's been in the microwave for three minutes, it'll
get dry. Now-
Lois Griffin: Please, please, we can't take any more schtick..
Please just tell us, is Peter healthy?
Doctor: Oh, yeah, he's fine, he's just really fat. Family Guy
Lois Griffin: And you know what? I'm gonna take that chance
my father never let me take when I was younger. I'm gonna become
a model!
Peter Griffin: Hey, that's fantastic, Lois! And I'll pleasure
myself to your photos.
Chris Griffin: Me too!
Meg Griffin: Me too!
Peter Griffin: Oh! Oh! God! Meg! That's sick! That's your mother!
Meg Griffin [shrugs]: I'm just trying to fit in.
Peter Griffin: Get out! Get out of this house!
[Meg doesn't move. Peter punches wall.]
Peter Griffin: I SAID GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE NOW!
[Meg runs out and Peter closes the door.]
Peter Griffin: That's a good about your modeling, Lois. Family Guy
Peter Griffin is central character
in American animated television series Family Guy, and head of Griffin
family. The series, about fictional family in Rhode Island, was created
by Seth MacFarlane for FOX in 1999.
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