Roger the Alien: God! Who do you have to probe around here
to get a Chardonnay?
American Dad |
Jack Smith: Son, breaking into a vault is like making love
to a woman.
Stan Smith: Right, so we should pound on it for, like, two minutes?
Jack Smith: No, you've got to gently work the dials until she
surrenders. And it opens.
American Dad |
Steve Smith: I can't believe I'm gonna die a virgin.
Francine Smith: Aw, sweetie, there was a 70-80% chance of that
happening, anyway.
American Dad |
Avery Bullock: The last 20 years of your wife's memory have
been erased.
Stan Smith: Well, go ahead and undo it.
Avery Bullock: Reverse brain erasing? Now, that's just science
fiction.
CIA Temp: Kind of like the female orgasm.
American Dad |
Old lady [spitting at the Lincoln Memorial]: That's for freein'
the slaves, ya negro-lovin' Yankee Devil!
American Dad |
Francine Smith: We're so glad you could make it. Where's your
wife this evening?
Avery Bullock: Handcuffed to a radiator in Fallujah. She wanted
to come, but I do not negotiate with terrorists. Hey, do I smell
meat loaf?
American Dad |
[Stan is about to shoot Roger; Francine, Hayley and Steve
stand in the way]
Stan Smith: Nobody threatens my family! Now get out of the way
or I'll shoot you all!
Hayley Smith: Oh, God, it's my junior prom all over again.
American Dad |
[Stan brings home a baby to replace Hayley when she moves
out]
Roger the Alien: Is that a Chinese baby?
Stan Smith: Sure is! Japanese, to be specific.
American Dad |
[Roger calling Hayley on the phone]
Roger the Alien: Hayley? Roger. Got a sec?
Hayley Smith: Roger? Whoah! Is this one of those Twilight Zone
phones where I can talk to the dead, but only with horrible,
ironic consequences?
Roger the Alien: Oh, right, it's past noon, you're already high.
American Dad |
Stan Smith: Son, if you ever get captured by any terrorists
in the neighborhood and end up on Al-Jazeera, just blink your
location in Morse code. I'll have a bomb dropped on your location
immediately.
Steve Smith: But, Dad, then I'd get killed too.
Stan Smith: Ah, come on son, there are plenty of kids to play
with in heaven. Your cousin Billy. That little girl from Poltergeist.
She must be about 16 by now, you could totally tap that.
American Dad |