My dad always told me to stand up to bullies, and Bill O’Reilly is kind of a bully, and he’s the kind of kid who hits other kids on the playground. And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, ‘Teacher, sue him.’ – Al Franken
If you use Facebook – as I do – Facebook in all likelihood has a unique digital file of your face, one that can be as accurate as a fingerprint and that can be used to identify you in a photo of a large crowd. – Al Franken
Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes when they see a wounded veteran. But when the veteran has a dog, the same people will come up and say, ‘Hi’ to pet the dog and then strike up a conversation. – Al Franken
Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor. – Al Franken
Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from. – Al Franken
Yeah, we shot ourselves in the foot right out of the gate. The guy who ran it at first misled pretty much everybody about how much capital we had. He said we had enough to go three years without making money, and we had enough to go three weeks. – Al Franken
I think Hell exists on Earth. It’s a psychological state, or it can be a physical state. People who have severe mental illness are in Hell. People who have lost a loved one are in Hell. I think there are all kinds of different hells. It’s not a place you go to after you die. – Al Franken
If you hear, day after day, liberals are rooting against armed forces, that is eventually going to have an effect on soldiers and troops who are actually going to believe that and it’s wrong. It’s just wrong. – Al Franken
The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of limited powers – one that would protect Americans’ liberty at all times – both in war, and in peace. – Al Franken
The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I’ve had to learn a little bit about it. It’s not rocket science: You get ratings, that’s good. – Al Franken
We need to prepare our kids for a 21st Century economy, and we’re not doing it with our schools. – Al Franken
If 98 out of 100 doctors tell me I’ve got a problem, I should take their advice. And if those two other doctors get paid by Big Snack Food, like certain climate deniers get paid by Big Coal, I shouldn’t take their advice. – Al Franken
You have to love your country like an adult loves somebody, not like a child loves its mommy. And right-wing Republicans tend to love America like a child loves its mommy, where everything Mommy does is okay. But adult love means you’re not in denial, and you want the loved one to be the best they can be. – Al Franken
We owe an historic debt to American Indians. They have a unique set of concerns that haven’t been addressed, and I’d like to stand with them. Also, I’d like to get their views on immigration. – Al Franken
My parents didn’t make a lot of money. My dad was not a high school graduate – he didn’t have a career as such; he was a printing salesman essentially for most of his working life. – Al Franken
It’s hard to have that debate around secret programs authorized by secret legal opinions issued by a secret court. Actually, it’s impossible to have that debate. – Al Franken
Yeah, but you need an experienced radio veteran who is a liberal advocate. And there just hadn’t been any radio that did that. And so they weren’t trained – they had developed all these bad habits of being objective and balanced and stuff like that. – Al Franken
I grew up in Minnesota, where we treasure our tradition of civic engagement – and our record of having the nation’s highest voter participation. – Al Franken
Net neutrality isn’t a government takeover of the Internet, as many of my Republican colleagues have alleged. – Al Franken
I’ve never understood why we would want to deny all the joys – and the challenges – of marriage to anyone. Which is why I think any loving, committed couple – gay or straight – should be able to get married. – Al Franken
Antitrust law isn’t about protecting competing businesses from each other, it’s about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public. – Al Franken
When you win an election, what you really win is a chance to go to work for working families who need a voice in Minnesota. – Al Franken
When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both. – Al Franken