I’d still like to see ‘Survivor’ minus the planned show-biz parts. That would be the purest form of show business – I want to see someone so hungry that they eat somebody else’s foot. – Albert Brooks
I don’t see many explosions or ten-car crashes in the course of my life, so I don’t put them into my movies. I would love to live in a society where ‘My Dinner with Andre’ made $100,000,000. Then I would be in the mainstream. I could do that stuff easier than I could do ‘Meatballs.’ – Albert Brooks
I’ve done performances in movies that I was immensely proud of and the movies didn’t take off like a rocket at Cape Canaveral, it didn’t take off. – Albert Brooks
When I was younger, I wasn’t concentrating on good days. I was managing a career and trying to have a good year. It would always ‘lead’ to something, which never leads to anything except death, where everything leads to. And then as I got older, and then I had my kids and everything, I began to appreciate a great Wednesday. – Albert Brooks
Wouldn’t it be great if cars came equipped with screens like that thing they have in Times Square that spells out the news? You could punch out your own instant messages: ‘Will the small red car with the ugly driver please stay a little further behind?’ – Albert Brooks
In the course of my movies, the financing and the releasing were always the tough part. Because I loved the creative; I loved the writing. I loved the making of it. Because, I guess, I never had the giant blockbuster, I never got that sort of ease for the next one. – Albert Brooks
I’m a member of the Academy, but I don’t know who all the other Academy members are. It’s not like a politician who knows who is in the Iowa caucus. – Albert Brooks
Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn’t cool to say, at a young age, ‘I want to be a comedian.’ – Albert Brooks
By the way, movies are like sporting events in that you’re as good as the movie you’re in. You can sit in a room for 20 years and go do a movie and you can just kill in it and you move to the head of the line again. By the same token, you can do five movies a year and if they’re dreck, it’s nothing. – Albert Brooks
In my screenplays – from the very beginning I’ve always used tape. I talk my screenplays. And then have somebody transcribe them. – Albert Brooks
Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It won’t be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it. – Albert Brooks
When I started out, I tried out all my stuff on national television. There were no comedy clubs, but even if there were, I don’t think I would have gone to them. I used to do stuff in the bathroom, and then I’d drive down to NBC and do it on ‘The Golddiggers’ with Dean Martin. – Albert Brooks
You know, when cameras are rolling, improvisation doesn’t feel natural. The pressure is too great. You’re on a time schedule. You’ve got 60 crewmen. – Albert Brooks
Once you sign on as an actor, you know, you don’t go to the editing room, you don’t see how they cut, you don’t see how they score, you don’t see how they cast the rest of the movie. – Albert Brooks
Nobody will leave any place unless they’re forced out. That’s the nature of humans. Once you’re there, you’re there. I’ve never seen anybody get up voluntarily and leave any place. – Albert Brooks
I attempt to create a form of seriocomic entertainment to either delight, enlighten, or disgust, whichever you’d like. In terms of making motion pictures, I write and direct and act. I guess you’d say I’m a filmmaker. – Albert Brooks
My dad died right after performing at the Friars’ roast for Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. I have that tape somewhere. There’s still a lot of good jokes in there. I mean, that was 1958. – Albert Brooks
All improv turns into anger. All comedy improv basically turns into anger, because that’s all people know how to do when they’re improvising. If you notice shows that are improvising are generally people yelling at each other. – Albert Brooks
It’s better to be known by six people for something you’re proud of than by 60 million for something you’re not. – Albert Brooks
I’ve heard people say, ‘There are no bad audiences,’ but that’s just not true. There are people who just shouldn’t be together in a room, who produce a really bad audience. – Albert Brooks
