I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition – and I have never suffered from it. – Ben Elton
I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with. – Ben Elton
There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I’ve made a great living doing the things I want to do. – Ben Elton
We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother. – Ben Elton
If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven. – Ben Elton
Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s. – Ben Elton
My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again! – Ben Elton
Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them. – Ben Elton
I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights. – Ben Elton
Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been. – Ben Elton
I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing. – Ben Elton
If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write. – Ben Elton
The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value. – Ben Elton
I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it’s a risk worth running. – Ben Elton
No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi. – Ben Elton
People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count. – Ben Elton
I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous. – Ben Elton
