Canterbury Tales Corruption Quotes

He hadde eek wenches at his retenue,
That, wheither that sir Robert or sir Huwe,
Or Jakke, or Rauf, or whoso that it were
That lay by hem, they tolde it in his ere.
Thus was the wenche and he of oon assent,
And he wolde fecche a feyned mandement,
And somne hem to chapitre bothe two,
And pile the man, and lete the wenche go.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Friar’s Tale. The dishonest Summoner employs prostitutes to reveal the names of the customers they have sex with, so that the Summoner can rob the men using a fake order to the archdeacon’s court forged by him.

"Now certes," quod this Somonour, "so fare I.
I spare nat to taken, God it woot,
But if it be to hevy or to hoot.
What I may gete in conseil prively,
No maner conscience of that have I.
Nere myn extorcioun, I myghte nat lyven."

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Friar’s Tale. The Summoner admits to the Yeoman (Devil in disguise) that he too lives by extortion, in his case stealing the money that he collects from peasants. The collections he makes he doesn’t give to his archdeacon but keeps for himself. He doesn’t tell those he takes the money from that it goes straight into his pocket, and not to the church. And he has no pangs of conscience about it, this greedy church official boasts, for were it not for his extortion he could not live.

"Brother," quod he, "heere woneth an old rebekke
"Brother," said he, "here dwells an old crone
That hadde almoost as lief to lese hire nekke
As for to yeve a peny of hir good.
I wole han twelf pens, though that she be wood,
Or I wol sompne hire unto oure office;
And yet, God woot, of hire knowe I no vice.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Friar’s Tale. The greedy Summoner hatches a plot with the Devil to blackmail an old widow woman with a threat to summons her on trumped up charges before the ecclesiastical court, unless she pays him twelve pence. He admits that she is not guilty of any vice that he knows of.

And up I roos, and al oure covent eke,
With many a teere trillyng on my cheke,
Withouten noyse or claterynge of belles;
Te Deum was oure song, and nothyng elles,
Save that to Crist I seyde an orison,
Thankynge hym of his revelacion.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Summoner’s Tale. After Thomas’s wife tells the Friar that her child died, the Friar claims that he had a vision half hour after his death, in which he saw him carried up to heaven. He and all the convent then sang the Te Deum, prayed for her child, and thanked God for his revelation, the Friar tells the couple. But we all know that he did no such thing and is just merely to extract money from Thomas.

Nere thou oure brother, sholdestou nat thryve.
In our chapitre praye we day and nyght
To Crist, that he thee sende heele and myght
Thy body for to weelden hastily.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Summoner’s Tale. Warning Thomas that were he not brother to the friars, he would not thrive, the Friar is suggesting that Thomas’s illness will persist if he gives little money to the friars. He claims that they pray day and night for Christ to send Thomas health and strength, hoping that will encourage a healthier donation from him.

He that his hand wol putte in this mitayn,
He shal have multipliyng of his grayn,
Whan he hath sowen, be it whete or otes,
So that he offre pens, or elles grotes.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Pardoner’s Prologue. In another of the Pardoner’s con tricks, he markets a magic mitten to his audiences as a great financial investment. All you do is put you hand in the mitten and your grain crops will multiply and make you rich, he says, appealing to people’s greed. And it only costs a few pennies to buy, urges the Pardoner, the only person who will get rich from his scheme!

If that this boon be wasshe in any welle,
If cow, or calf, or sheep, or oxe swelle
That any worm hath ete, or worm ystonge,
Taak water of that welle and wassh his tonge,
Of pokkes and of scabbe, and every soore
Shal every sheep be hool that of this welle
Drynketh a draughte.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Pardoner’s Prologue. As part of his con, the Pardoner admits selling people on the miraculous healing powers of a shoulder bone from a holy Jew’s sheep. He spins them a tale that if it is washed in any well, the water from that well will cure any animal sick from parasites, pox, scabs and sores. No doubt the fast-talking, licensed seller of papal pardons won plenty of unsuspecting customers for his "magic" bones.

Goode men and wommen, o thyng warne I yow:
If any wight be in this chirche now
That hath doon synne horrible, that he
Dar nat, for shame, of it yshryven be,
Or any womman, be she yong or old,
That hath ymaked hir housbonde cokewold,
Swich folk shal have no power ne no grace
To offren to my relikes in this place.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Pardoner’s Prologue. This neat sales pitch has to win Salesman and Marketer of the Year Award for the Pardoner! He uses it when trying to sell his fake "relics" to church congregations. He tells them that anyone who is guilty of a serious sin will have no power to purchase his relics. He specifically mentions wives who have committed adultery – are women his best customers? Boy, you can see them queuing up after that, purses out, to prove that they are without sin!

By this gaude have I wonne, yeer by yeer,
An hundred mark sith I was pardoner.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Pardoner’s Prologue. The Pardoner boasts that he makes a good living from his different con tricks, including selling fake relics, sheep bones with miraculous powers and magic mittens. Chaucer pains a very satirical and cynical portrait of the licensed seller of indulgences – ecclesiastical pardons of sins – who himself repeatedly commits the cardinal sin of greed.

I stonde lyk a clerk in my pulpet,
And whan the lewed peple is doun yset,
I preche so as ye han herd bifoore
And telle an hundred false japes moore.
Thanne peyne I me to strecche forth the nekke,
And est and west upon the peple I bekke,
As dooth a dowve sittynge on a berne.
Myne handes and my tonge goon so yerne
That it is joye to se my bisynesse.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Pardoner’s Prologue. The cynical Pardoner prides himself on his theatrical air that he employs to preach his false stories to the uneducated people. Using a simile, he likens himself to a dove sitting atop a barn, stretching forth his neck to peer down at the people, hands and tongue working so quickly that it’s a joy to see him in action. You nearly admire how skilled this conman is at suckering money out of the faithful – in the name of religion! As well as greed, he is guilty of another of the Seven Deadly Sins here – pride!

Of avarice and of swich cursednesse
Is al my prechyng, for to make hem free
To yeven hir pens, and namely unto me.
For myn entente is nat but for to wynne,
And nothyng for correccioun of synne.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Pardoner’s Prologue. The Pardoner confesses that he is in the indulgences business not for the correction of sin, but to make profit for himself. He preaches against avarice so that people will be generous and give money offerings, which he unashamedly pockets to support his lifestyle. This Church representative has found the perfect con – and cover! At least he is honest enough to admit his hypocrisy.

Thus quyte I folk that doon us displesances;
Thus spitte I out my venym under hewe
Of hoolynesse, to semen hooly and trewe.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Pardoner’s Prologue. The Pardoner is the man to cross or do wrong to. He doesn’t believe in turning the other cheek, as the Church teaches its followers to. No he takes revenge on them from the pupil, by using his sermons as a weapon. As Mr. Nasty so graphically puts it: he spits out his venom under hue of holiness at folk who make trouble for pardoners.

Thus kan I preche agayn that same vice
Which that I use, and that is avarice.
But though myself be gilty in that synne,
Yet kan I maken oother folk to twynne
From avarice and soore to repente.
But that is nat my principal entente;
I preche nothyng but for coveitise.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Pardoner’s Prologue. As avarice is a sin practised by the Pardoner himself, he believes that he is in the ideal position to preach against it to others. Though himself guilty of that sin, he is convinced that he can make other folk turn away from it and repent. Sounds like the perverted logic of a clever hypocrite. However in the final two lines of the passage, the Pardoner reveals the true intention of his preaching – I preach nothing but for greed, he admits. At least he knows he’s a hypocrite.

What, trowe ye, that whiles I may preche,
And wynne gold and silver for I teche,
That I wol lyve in poverte wilfully?
Nay, nay, I thoghte it nevere, trewely!

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Pardoner’s Prologue. The canny Church representative knows that he has a gift for preaching and winning gold and silver from his audiences by teaching. So he asks the pilgrims: why would you think that I would volunteer to live in poverty? And he answers his own question: I never thought it, truly, he says.

I wol have moneie, wolle, chese, and whete,
Al were it yeven of the povereste page,
Or of the povereste wydwe in a village,
Al sholde hir children sterve for famyne.
Nay, I wol drynke licour of the vyne
And have a joly wenche in every toun.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Pardoner’s Prologue. Dismissing the life of poverty of the apostles, the Pardoner says he will have money, wool, cheese and wheat. And he doesn’t care if it comes from the poorest servant boy or the poorest widow in a village, even though her children would die of hunger. He will feed his lifestyle of wine drinking and lechery with a jolly wench in every town! The corrupt Pardoner’s greed – one of the Seven Deadly Sins – knows no bounds.

Now, goode men, God foryeve yow youre trespas,
And ware yow fro the synne of avarice!
Myn hooly pardoun may yow alle warice,
So that ye offre nobles or sterlynges,
Or elles silver broches, spoones, rynges.
Boweth youre heed under this hooly bulle!

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Pardoner’s Tale. After working his oratory to frighten the life out of the pilgrims with a horror story that could vie with the best – or worst – of Edgar Allan Poe, the corrupt Pardoner moves to cash in. Give me your gold, silver, valuables and you can avoid the fate of the gluttonous, hard-drinking, gambling, lecherous scoundrels in my tale – he tells them, offering for sale his papal pardons from sin.

Paraventure ther may fallen oon or two
Doun of his hors and breke his nekke atwo.
Looke which a seuretee is it to yow alle
That I am in youre felaweshipe yfalle,
That may assoille yow, bothe moore and lasse,
Whan that the soule shal fro the body passe.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Pardoner’s Tale. The avaricious Pardoner attempts to frighten the pilgrims into thinking that they are going to fall off their horses and die, in order to get a sale for his pardons. He presents himself like a "Catcher in the Rye" of the afterlife, standing between them and eternal damnation, rescuing them just in the neck of time from falling into the fire of hell. As long as they are willing to pay him of course to keep them in a state of grace.

This faire wyf acorded with daun John
That for thise hundred frankes he sholde al nyght
Have hire in his armes bolt upright;
And this acord parfourned was in dede.
In myrthe al nyght a bisy lyf they lede
Til it was day, that daun John wente his way.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Shipman’s Tale. The monk returns with head and beard all fresh and newly shaved to receive payment from the merchant’s wife for their sexualized business transaction. For the hundred francs loan, the monk demands sex with her all night. Both of them eagerly fulfil the agreement. The corrupt monk is breaking his vows here – having forbidden sex, giving money for sexual favors, and engaging in the sin of adultery with his best friend’s wife.
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