Canterbury Tales Sex Quotes

Up peril of my soule, I shal nat lyen,
As me was taught, to heele with youre eyen,
Was no thyng bet, to make yow to see,
Than strugle with a man upon a tree.
God woot, I dide it in ful good entente.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Merchant’s Tale. I shall not lie, May assures a distraught and roaring January after he sees her copulating with Damien in a fruit tree. She then lies through her teeth, claiming that she was told the only cure for her husband’s blindness was to struggle with a man up a tree. God knows, I did it in full good intent, she adds for good measure.

I rede that oure Hoost heere shal bigynne,
For he is moost envoluped in synne.
Com forth, sire Hoost, and offre first anon,
And thou shalt kisse the relikes everychon,
Ye, for a grote! Unbokele anon thy purs.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Pardoner’s Tale. When he finishes his tale, the Pardoner uses aggressive methods to sell his pardons and fake religious relics to his fellow pilgrims. There is a lot of venom in his sales pitch, directed towards the pilgrims and particularly the Host Harry Bailly. The Pardoner targets the Host as the first to buy his spiritual favors, saying that he is the most sinful. He also uses sexually suggestive, insulting language when he invites the Host to kneel, kiss the relics and unbuckle his purse.

And wel ye woot that wommen naturelly
Desiren thynges sixe as wel as I:
They wolde that hir housbondes sholde be
Hardy and wise, and riche, and therto free,
And buxom unto his wyf and fressh abedde.
Modern English:
Women desire six things: They want their husbands to be brave, wise, rich, generous, obedient to wife, and lively in bed.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Shipman’s Tale. What do women desire in a husband? The merchant’s wife spells it out to the monk, and it is a pretty high bar for any man to reach. Unfortunately the merchant falls short of the requirements, but what upsets the wife most is his miserliness.

Lene me this somme, or ellis moot I deye.
Daun John, I seye, lene me thise hundred frankes.
Pardee, I wol nat faille yow my thankes,
If that yow list to doon that I yow praye.
For at a certeyn day I wol yow paye,
And doon to yow what plesance and service
That I may doon, right as yow list devise.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Shipman’s Tale. The merchant’s wife pleads with the monk to lend her one hundred francs to pay a debt. With heavy sexual overtones, she promises in return to do to him whatever pleasure and services that he commands.

This faire wyf acorded with daun John
That for thise hundred frankes he sholde al nyght
Have hire in his armes bolt upright;
And this acord parfourned was in dede.
In myrthe al nyght a bisy lyf they lede
Til it was day, that daun John wente his way.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Shipman’s Tale. The monk returns with head and beard all fresh and newly shaved to receive payment from the merchant’s wife for their sexualized business transaction. For the hundred francs loan, the monk demands sex with her all night. Both of them eagerly fulfil the agreement. The corrupt monk is breaking his vows here – having forbidden sex, giving money for sexual favors, and engaging in the sin of adultery with his best friend’s wife.

Ye han mo slakkere dettours than am I!
For I wol paye yow wel and redily
Fro day to day, and if so be I faille,
I am youre wyf; score it upon my taille,
And I shal paye as soone as ever I may…
Ye shal my joly body have to wedde;
By God, I wol nat paye yow but abedde!

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Shipman’s Tale. The merchant chides his wife for not telling him that the hundred francs loan he had given to the monk had been repaid to her. Offering a sexual solution, she suggests that she be allowed to keep the money and she will repay him in bed! And she promises to pay him well and readily every day, not like his more slow-paying creditors.

This gentil cok hadde in his governaunce
Sevene hennes for to doon al his plesaunce,
Whiche were his sustres and his paramours.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Nun’s Priest’s Tale. The noble Chauntecleer is elevated to a high courtly position as the only male in a farmyard of females. There he has a haren of seven hens to do all his pleasure – just like the Nun’s Priest is surrounded by a community of nuns whom he serves. The hens are described as Chauntecleer’s sisters and lovers.

"Sire Nonnes Preest," oure Hooste seide anoon,
"I – blessed be thy breche, and every stoon!
This was a murie tale of Chauntecleer.
But by my trouthe, if thou were seculer,
Thou woldest ben a trede-foul aright.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, Epilogue to the Nun’s Priest’s Tale. The Host Harry Bailly thanks the Nun’s Priest for his merry tale of Chanticleer. He then flatters the priest in sexual terms, by blessing his breeches and testicles and saying that if he were a layman he would have been a great rooster among hens.

I have an aungel which that loveth me,
That with greet love, wher so I wake or sleepe,
Is redy ay my body for to kepe.
And if that he may feelen, out of drede,
That ye me touche, or love in vileynye,
He right anon wol sle yow with the dede,
And in youre yowthe thus ye shullen dye.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Second Nun’s Tale. On their wedding night Cecilia warns her new husband Valerian that a guardian angel is watching over her virginity. If Valerian touches or loves her lecherously, the angel will immediately slay him in the act and he will die in his youth.

Valerian, corrected as God wolde,
Answerde agayn, "If I shal trusten thee,
Lat me that aungel se and hym biholde;
And if that it a verray angel bee,
Thanne wol I doon as thou hast prayed me;
And if thou love another man, for sothe
Right with this swerd thanne wol I sle yow bothe."

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Second Nun’s Tale. Valerian is suspicious that his wife Cecilia may be deceiving him when she says that a guardian angel is watching over her. He demands that she let him see the angel. If it is a true angel then he will do as she prays him and love her chastely. But if she loves another, Valerian says he will slay them both with his sword.

O deere wyf! O gemme of lustiheed!
That were to me so sad and eek so trewe,
Now listow deed, with face pale of hewe,
Ful giltelees, that dorste I swere, ywys!

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Manciple’s Tale. Phoebus is mourning his wife, whom he has killed in a fit of jealous rage. He was told by his pet white crow that his wife was unfaithful to him with her secret lover. So he slew her with an arrow. But at the sight of her dead body he is filled with remorse. Using a metaphor, he describes her as a gem of delight.

Thise olde dotardes holours, yet wol they kisse, though they may nat do, and smatre hem. Certes, they been lyk to houndes, for an hound whan he comth by the roser, or by other bushes, though he may nat pisse, yet wole he heve up his leg and make a contenaunce to pisse.
Modern English:
These old aged lechers, yet will they kiss, though they can not do, and defile themselves. Certainly, they are similar to hounds; for a hound, when he comes by the rosebush or by other bushes, though he can not piss, yet will he heave up his leg and make a pretence to piss.

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Parson’s Tale. The Parson on the subject of lechery, specifically old lechers. He says they defile themselves because they will kiss though they cannot do, like a dog lifting its leg at a bush pretending to piss.
Close