There are some really interesting celebrities and people who are fun to interview, but when you have to do it every day because you have to fill a slot, the allure wears off. – Chelsea Handler
I definitely don’t want to have kids. I don’t think I’d be a great mother. I don’t want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don’t have the time to raise a child. – Chelsea Handler
There are times I felt insecure or not sure: I’m unsure of myself, or I get nervous, but nerves are good. I try and embrace all those things. I try and embrace the times where I’m not sure of myself or I’m like, ‘Is this going to work? Is this going to land?’ – Chelsea Handler
I like the minute when I can get off the stage and go home, and I know I’ve done a good job. – Chelsea Handler
There’s times where you think, ‘Gosh, what if nobody ever wants to hear what I have to say?’ – Chelsea Handler
I try not to apologize, especially publicly. That’s a slippery slope, because I’m a comedian. If you take anything I’m saying too seriously, then you shouldn’t be paying attention in the first place. If you find me offensive, don’t follow me. – Chelsea Handler
Anyone who’s married to Mariah Carey – I’m pretty sure – doesn’t have a great sense of humor. I mean, let’s be honest: she’s ridiculous. What is her game plan? – Chelsea Handler
I’m very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter. – Chelsea Handler
In a relationship, the sum of your parts should equal more than just you by yourself. He needs to bring something new and different to the table to up the ante. – Chelsea Handler
My standup is observational, but it’s self-observational, and it’s self-deprecating, definitely. – Chelsea Handler
E! has just become a sad, sad place to live. They don’t know what they’re doing; they have no ideas… everything they do just is a failure. – Chelsea Handler
I cannot be Mary Hart – or even worse, Samantha Harris – and stand there with my hip out talking about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes taking Suri to an art museum without making fun of it. – Chelsea Handler
I want to educate people and deliver news that isn’t just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I’d like to be able to do the serious stuff in conjunction with the comedy. – Chelsea Handler
It’s a pleasure to play my sister because everything I’ve accused her of my whole life, I can now re-enact before her eyes. – Chelsea Handler
If you’re a member of my family, whether immediate or extended, and you want to see my show, don’t. – Chelsea Handler
Every time I enter a country and have to write down my occupation at customs, I’m like, ‘I don’t know… Author? Host? Writer? Stand-up?’ I usually write ‘author’ – that’s the safest bet. – Chelsea Handler
I was the youngest of six kids, and my brothers and sisters were kind of a lot older than me. And the one sister that was, like, in a close age range – she was five years older than me. She was my closest sister in age, and she was a loser. – Chelsea Handler
You either become like your parents or you become the opposite of your parents. And I like to think that I’m the opposite of my parents. – Chelsea Handler
We’re seeking out such grossness in human behavior and want such mindless entertainment. ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ and some of these other shows are more racist. Or ’16 and Pregnant.’ Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you’re a teenager? Are you serious? – Chelsea Handler
I remember having a conversation with my sister, saying, ‘What if I don’t make it? What if I’m still waiting tables when I’m 35?’ I was just at the end of my rope. But I’ve been at the end of that rope several times. – Chelsea Handler
I was broke from 19 to 26, borrowing money from my parents or my brothers or sisters every week to pay the bills. – Chelsea Handler
I’m not trying to be a role model to kids, because I don’t have any children, but I do think everyone should have a free spirit. – Chelsea Handler
