People ask me why I’m so hard on men. It’s because they’ve gotten a really easy ride. And it’s not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50. – Chelsea Handler
I’ve always had a big personality. I was trickier as a kid. I behaved erratically instead of consistently. I would have tons of friends, and then I would have no friends. I’d be with the cool girls, then the uncool girls. I migrated from group to group because I was bored or people got bored with me. I was very intense. – Chelsea Handler
Can you imagine peaking as a teen? I think if you peak in high school, there’s a problem. That’s what my sister always said: ‘Don’t worry, you’ll peak later.’ – Chelsea Handler
There’s a difference between racism and people making a joke about something. There is true racism going on, and people should be able to identify what that is, comparatively. – Chelsea Handler
I have always maintained a strong opposition to marriage because I would have to be in serious denial to pretend I wasn’t born with a personality for divorce. Whatever the opposite of amicable is, that’s how my breakups tend to play out. – Chelsea Handler
Some people have a phobia of midgets. They’re, like, scared of them. I have the opposite – I see them, and I want to hold them down, cuddle them, be like, ‘Come here, you little nugget. Who’s your mommy now?’ So cute! – Chelsea Handler
The whole point of remaining on cable is to remain true to who I am. That’s a bad, bad girl that got a big job. – Chelsea Handler
Don’t think about anything for too long. Even if it’s off-the-wall, go for it. You’ll have a lot more fun in life. – Chelsea Handler
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are ridiculous-looking – especially her. They’re so strange and charismatic and weird. It’s pretty hard to take your eyes off them. – Chelsea Handler
