I’m a terrible interviewer. I’m not a journalist – although I have a Peabody Award – and I’m not really a late-night host. What I am is honest. – Craig Ferguson
It’s very interesting to know what people are doing while you’re working on late-night television. – Craig Ferguson
It’s like, it’s kind of like if you ever had a car and it was a bit of a clunker but you love it, that’s my show. It’s a bit of a clunker but I know where everything is and I like it. – Craig Ferguson
When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don’t stop, I’m going to die. – Craig Ferguson
All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals. – Craig Ferguson
HD doesn’t mean anything to me. It’s a technical thing. It’s like demographics. A lot of people know about it. – Craig Ferguson
If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I’m out. I’m gone. – Craig Ferguson
I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It’s quite tricky and actually nerve-racking to do that. It’s kind of a happy train wreck. – Craig Ferguson
I used to believe, like many people who come from poor backgrounds, that it gave me an edge, but I think that’s just something we have to tell ourselves to get by sometimes. I don’t believe that anymore. Children of privilege can be just as talented and clever as anybody else. – Craig Ferguson
Historically, when Americans don’t know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: ‘What am I going to do now? I’ll go to Paris!’ – Craig Ferguson
They were singing, Gillette, the best a man can get, with a lot of guys hugging their fathers and sailing and riding bikes. I suddenly felt a long way from the best a man could get and I thought it would be nice to get from there to the best. – Craig Ferguson
You know, your whole life you’re concerned about money for this and that. And then you don’t have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff. – Craig Ferguson
I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from a difficult and sporadically violent background, to have been in and out of such chaos, I think it actually helps. But I don’t know for sure. – Craig Ferguson
It’s the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you’ve got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy. – Craig Ferguson
I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living – and earning a living. – Craig Ferguson
I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It’s 12:30 at night, you don’t want some guy yelling at you. You want some guy just talking to you. – Craig Ferguson
I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained. – Craig Ferguson
There’s just a feeling you get from certain things you do in life that just kind of feel pure and independent of what’s actually, physically, going on. – Craig Ferguson
I came to America, and I made good. It’s an old story, but it hasn’t been told in a long time. Usually, it’s, ‘I’m an immigrant, I came here and got persecuted.’ My story is I came here, I worked hard, and it worked out all right. So it’s still available. – Craig Ferguson
Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child. – Craig Ferguson
