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The Great Gatsby
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Free Literature Study Guides
The Great Gatsby
Hamlet

Dane Cook Quotes

I’m quitting the business today. I’m going to open up an appliance store, I’ve always really been into toasters. I’m giving it all up.

– Dane Cook

People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.

– Dane Cook

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I’ll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

– Dane Cook

If haters or whatever want to find you – I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. They’re very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.

– Dane Cook

Here’s the thing about Red Sox fans, or actually just fans from that region, in general: they appreciate the effort. And if you mail it in or if you give 80 percent, even with a win, they’ll let you know that’s not how you do it. They want – if it’s comedian, if it’s a musician, bring us your best show.

– Dane Cook

My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.

– Dane Cook

Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He’ll come to a lot of my shows. It’s not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.

– Dane Cook

The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.

– Dane Cook

When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.

– Dane Cook

I grew up very self-loathing. I was a phobic. I had anxiety. I had panic attacks.

– Dane Cook

I’m a late-night guy.

– Dane Cook

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

– Dane Cook

I had the humble beginnings. I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.

– Dane Cook

My nickname for my mom was ‘The Compass.’

– Dane Cook

I’m shooting a pilot based on my show. It’s a one-camera show. I play myself.

– Dane Cook

When you’re on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone’s stifling their laughter. You’re looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.

– Dane Cook

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don’t think I’m funny.

– Dane Cook

I get so into the moment.

– Dane Cook

My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.

– Dane Cook

I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there’s truth to it – being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you’re working smaller clubs, you’re listening. You’re feeling an energy, you’re going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.

– Dane Cook

That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.

– Dane Cook

No one wants to drown. Drowning would be the worst. Cause everyone knows that feeling. That feeling, oh it’s the worst… when you think you’re drowning.

– Dane Cook

There’s always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.

– Dane Cook

When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.

– Dane Cook

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

– Dane Cook

I’m interested in doing everything and anything that I can to squeeze that creativity out of my brain. I guess I’m sort of a performance rat.

– Dane Cook

Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.

– Dane Cook

I did stand-up comedy for seventeen years. I need to explore other things.

– Dane Cook

I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh.

– Dane Cook

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!

– Dane Cook

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