If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles. – Doug Larson
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. – Doug Larson
Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. – Doug Larson
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. – Doug Larson
Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. – Doug Larson
The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment. – Doug Larson
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk. – Doug Larson
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. – Doug Larson
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. – Doug Larson
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. – Doug Larson
Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away. – Doug Larson
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. – Doug Larson
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. – Doug Larson
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. – Doug Larson
Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three – and paradise is when you have none. – Doug Larson
