I don’t think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness. – Graham Norton
If you’d told the young Graham Norton that I’d one day have this amount of money, I’d have assumed it would have come from a lottery win. – Graham Norton
It’s amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isn’t it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. It’s a sort of terrible gift, isn’t it? – Graham Norton
Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, ‘You do realise this is a gay club, don’t you lads?’ you get all excited because you think, ‘Wow, he thought I was straight!’ – Graham Norton
My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me. – Graham Norton
Forty freaked me out. I didn’t see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos – I was moving jobs and moving house – and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. – Graham Norton
Where I get bored is when I show up for a shoot and they want me to wear a feather boa. Too obvious a thing for a poof on the telly to do. – Graham Norton
You don’t want money to make you a social freak where you can only hang out with rich people. – Graham Norton
You don’t want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend. – Graham Norton
I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time. – Graham Norton
The higher your profile becomes, the more aware you are that people out there might hate you. – Graham Norton
I am camp. Lots of gay men can’t cope with their campness. They are in denial about it. – Graham Norton
Straight men just can’t imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do. – Graham Norton
I’m often dating people, but I don’t say it because you sort of know it won’t last long. – Graham Norton
An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot. – Graham Norton
The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it’s a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky. – Graham Norton
All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I’m relatively available, but not to live with. – Graham Norton
I’ve heard other gay people say when they were growing up they felt ‘foreign.’ Growing up, I was able to label these feelings as: ‘I’m a Protestant.’ It wasn’t until I left, I thought: ‘Oh, those weren’t Protestant feelings.’ – Graham Norton
I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy. – Graham Norton
