When the grandmothers of today hear the word ‘Chippendales’, they don’t necessary think of chairs. – Jean Kerr
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. – Jean Kerr
A man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself – like, for instance, he can’t find any clean socks. – Jean Kerr
Now the thing about having a baby – and I can’t be the first person to have noticed this – is that thereafter you have it. – Jean Kerr
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living. – Jean Kerr
Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite. – Jean Kerr
I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? – Jean Kerr
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. – Jean Kerr
I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. – Jean Kerr
One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind. – Jean Kerr
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it’s just possible you haven’t grasped the situation. – Jean Kerr
Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze? – Jean Kerr
A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table. – Jean Kerr
You don’t seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help. – Jean Kerr
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can’t find any clean socks. – Jean Kerr
Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them. – Jean Kerr
The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. – Jean Kerr
Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house. – Jean Kerr
