No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails. – John Mortimer
The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yogurt. – John Mortimer
The freedom to make a fortune on the stock exchange has been made to sound more alluring than freedom of speech. – John Mortimer
To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph. – John Mortimer
I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. – John Mortimer
I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print. – John Mortimer
All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting. – John Mortimer
There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. – John Mortimer
The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they’re not going to succeed. – John Mortimer
