The difficulty of getting a movie made through a major studio is so extreme that when a movie comes out, everyone should give it four stars because it was accomplished. – John Mulaney
The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time. – John Mulaney
All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don’t understand it. – John Mulaney
As I got into high school and after puberty, I was a little more inward. I was a real extrovert when I was little, but I don’t know, I just got quieter… With my friends, I was still an extrovert. – John Mulaney
Going on the road for long stretches can seem daunting, and I certainly miss being home sometimes, but the chance to see so many different cities, let alone perform in them, is something I am really grateful for. – John Mulaney
I plan to join the ‘SNL’ band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I’ll be sure to look right into camera. – John Mulaney
I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I’ve always enjoyed it. There’s just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me. – John Mulaney
You can do good work simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term. – John Mulaney
You can’t always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You have to commit. – John Mulaney
Stand-up for me is just my opinions on things, so it wouldn’t be as fun translated into a sketch. Nor would a sketch be as fun if it were me standing there saying it. – John Mulaney
