If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I’d probably spend a lot of money on it. – Johnny Vegas
I’d never experienced stress before I did stand-up, and it was a massive shock to my system, this thing of waking up, and the nerves of, ‘You’re on stage tonight.’ – Johnny Vegas
You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow ’cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led. – Johnny Vegas
They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they’re not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day. – Johnny Vegas
I came back from university thinking I knew all about politics and racism, not knowing my dad had been one of the youngest-serving Labour councillors in the town and had refused to work in South Africa years ago because of the situation there. And he’s never mentioned it – you just find out. That’s a real man to me. A sleeping lion. – Johnny Vegas
‘Johnny’ was a coping mechanism who could take those things which could have ordinarily destroyed me, by tweaking my past and throwing it back out there, getting laughs from things that would have otherwise upset me. – Johnny Vegas
I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show. – Johnny Vegas
I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don’t seem to be particularly keen on them. – Johnny Vegas
You don’t want to be flattered and become big-headed by getting awards. But, well, I am. – Johnny Vegas
I am very proud of what ‘Johnny’ achieved in stand-up comedy because he believed entirely in giving an audience the best kick he could. But he was someone who was quite detrimental to my health, both emotionally and physically. – Johnny Vegas
I also want to return to doing stand-up. I’ve become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again. – Johnny Vegas
I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole – queuing up, security and lost luggage. – Johnny Vegas
I’ve got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs. – Johnny Vegas
There’s this idea that it has to be made in London. But we’ve got everything up here, and if you’ve got comics who are gifted because of where they’re from, you shouldn’t drag them away from that natural resource. – Johnny Vegas
From a certain age, I sort of accepted myself for what I was. And although to other people it was like nothing ever goes right, I had a really nice attitude that I’d inherited from my parents, and especially from my dad. – Johnny Vegas
My work’s never been accepted by my family, but it’s something I’ll always carry on with. – Johnny Vegas
I’ve spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It’s just not my home. – Johnny Vegas
For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason. – Johnny Vegas
I used to attract a lot of feeders. I’d be quite happy to be locked in someone’s flat and fed liquidised burgers. – Johnny Vegas
Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out. – Johnny Vegas
