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The Great Gatsby
Hamlet

Free Literature Study Guides
The Great Gatsby
Hamlet

Kristen Schaal Quotes

I think it’s great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and just stare at you blankly. And that’s exactly what you’ll get at a comedy club. If you can toughen up with a cow audience, then you’ll never be worried with a human audience.

– Kristen Schaal

I’m not really a control person, and I’m a big believer in collaboration. I like to have a friend.

– Kristen Schaal

I don’t enjoy reality television at all. I have to say that I get it, though. I watch some of it, and I understand why people enjoy it.

– Kristen Schaal

Being a correspondent on ‘The Daily Show’ is some combination of doing a character and doing stand-up. It’s a juggling act to find a balance between being you and playing a role.

– Kristen Schaal

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

– Kristen Schaal

I definitely had a Paul Rudd crush. He’s great.

– Kristen Schaal

I thought I would either be an epidemiologist or a ‘Price Is Right’ model.

– Kristen Schaal

Bad improv happens with people who are inexperienced with each other and don’t know the craft that well. But bad stand-up is something that could happen to someone at any level in their career.

– Kristen Schaal

I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you’re at home trying to write anything you can. ‘Flight Of The Conchords’ was so wonderful because I had a family for two years.

– Kristen Schaal

I think I’ve always had a disconnect from what I’m supposed to be like.

– Kristen Schaal

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination – being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.

– Kristen Schaal

I’ve been lucky. The projects I’ve gotten to work on are projects I’d want to watch myself. That’s what I try to shoot for.

– Kristen Schaal

I probably shouldn’t say this about all animals, but at least the farm animals that I’ve hung out with, and even when I go to the zoo usually, they’re like a blank slate. I guess that’s why I like them. They’re puppets, and you can imagine them being anything you want.

– Kristen Schaal

Sarcasm doesn’t read sarcastic in print.

– Kristen Schaal

My sensibilities are like, ‘I want it to be weirder.’

– Kristen Schaal

Sometimes I try to sell shows with a female lead to networks, and that isn’t something that’s been a proven formula for them, so they reject it. I do feel like men get the funniest roles in movies.

– Kristen Schaal

I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life.

– Kristen Schaal

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

– Kristen Schaal

My parents are pretty religious, devout, but did they force it on me? No, I don’t think so. I still think of myself as a Lutheran, just one who doesn’t go to church.

– Kristen Schaal

I would be an actress for the rest of my life just because it’s really relaxing. Writing is hard work, and stand-up is so stressful before you get on stage, but acting is a complete ensemble experience.

– Kristen Schaal

I love the idea that I have the power to look for the projects I can put myself into, but I’m still at that level of just being happy to have a job.

– Kristen Schaal

My style can’t be held within a pixel medium. Like, it needs to be performed in a living, breathing space. People need to have all their senses ready to take on my comedy, and unfortunately, TV alienates at least their sense of touch, taste, smell.

– Kristen Schaal

I loved ‘Burning Love,’ and I really do love almost everything Paul Scheer touches.

– Kristen Schaal

Animals in general have sparked a weird depression in me, because as much as I tried, I couldn’t layer a personality over them. You know what I mean? I would stare at the cows, and I would sing to the cows, and they would always just look at me blankly.

– Kristen Schaal

‘Rock of Love’ with Bret Michaels was fun. He’s a lovable guy.

– Kristen Schaal

In high school, I was doing a skit for forensics and people started laughing, more than I was prepared to deal with. It was a surprise.

– Kristen Schaal