If God made the body, and the body is dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer. – Lenny Bruce
I hate small towns because once you’ve seen the cannon in the park there’s nothing else to do. – Lenny Bruce
A lot of people say to me, ‘Why did you kill Christ?’ I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know. – Lenny Bruce
The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can’t fake it… try to fake three laughs in an hour – ha ha ha ha ha – they’ll take you away, man. You can’t. – Lenny Bruce
The ‘what should be’ never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no ‘what should be,’ there is only what is. – Lenny Bruce
I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up. – Lenny Bruce
I’m not a comedian. And I’m not sick. The world is sick, and I’m the doctor. I’m a surgeon with a scalpel for false values. – Lenny Bruce
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it. – Lenny Bruce
I don’t read enough books, so I guess I’m pretty shallow. I’m a lot into the physical. With me, first attraction is never intellectual. – Lenny Bruce
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses. – Lenny Bruce
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds. – Lenny Bruce
All my humor is based on destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing in the bread line – right in back of J. Edgar Hoover. – Lenny Bruce
