The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity. – Lewis Grizzard
The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wiggle out of one. – Lewis Grizzard
I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married. – Lewis Grizzard
The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one. – Lewis Grizzard
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house. – Lewis Grizzard
I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a house. – Lewis Grizzard
You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, ‘What’s in it for me?’ – Lewis Grizzard
It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato. – Lewis Grizzard
Yankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different. – Lewis Grizzard
