Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it’s inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? – Norm MacDonald
In theatres, you’re kind of disconnected. Also, it’s way too big for the likes of me. Unless you’re Robin Williams or someone that can fill a stage with movement and energy, it just looks like a small man on a big stage. – Norm MacDonald
I just hate plugs. It just doesn’t seem entertaining to me. I’ve never plugged anything in my life on a talk show ever. I understand people use that vehicle. It’s just not very entertaining. – Norm MacDonald
I’m no good at anything but comedy, which I think I’m good at. I’m absolutely no good at networking; I’m terrible at acting; I’m terrible at dealing with executives; I’m terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I’m good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don’t really have an ambition for money. – Norm MacDonald
I’d say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he’s just, he’s talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don’t know what’s going on. – Norm MacDonald
I’ve been offered political shows before, and I don’t know anything about politics and I feel uncomfortable making political opinions – there’s consequences to them. I often think I’m wrong, so I really don’t like getting in political or religious discussions because of the giant possibility that I might be wrong. – Norm MacDonald
I don’t like sports where it’s like, you watch a guy on a motorcycle flip or something, then another guy does it, it looks exactly the same, and then at the end one guy gets higher points! It seems so arbitrary; I don’t know who’s ahead ever. – Norm MacDonald
When I was young, I’d watch guys on ‘The Tonight Show’, Buddy Hackett, guys like that, where all they’d be is funny. Later, I remember, on ‘Late Night with Letterman’, I remember he’d have Jay Leno and Richard Lewis as first guests and the entire point was to entertain and be funny, and I think talk shows have kind of lost that. – Norm MacDonald
I don’t have any ego about it, but I find there’s not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you’re dead. – Norm MacDonald
I miss seeing real comics, Shecky Greene and Buddy Hackett, those types. I like straight stand-up, talking about the Olympics and why I feel obligated to watch them. ‘Why am I watching archery at 4 in the afternoon?’ – Norm MacDonald
It’s a very odd thing with Hollywood, where you do stand-up, you’re good at it, then they go, ‘How would you like to be a horrible actor?’ Then you say, ‘All right, that sounds good. I’ll do that.’ – Norm MacDonald
I’m happy doing stand-up, but I’ll probably do a television show eventually. If not, I’ll delve into this Internet world and decide best how to harness it. What I like best about it is the independent movie style and the ability to just be completely reckless within that world. I like that a lot. I just have to acquaint myself with technology. – Norm MacDonald
I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can’t stay in the same place. People think you’re a loser. – Norm MacDonald
So much in L.A. is waiting. It’s so irritating. That’s what’s good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don’t have to sit and wait by your phone. But it is very frustrating. – Norm MacDonald
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical. – Norm MacDonald
Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it’s inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are… You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time. – Norm MacDonald
If you’re watching a comedian on television and he’s making a political point, I would say he’s gotten too serious. – Norm MacDonald
With the computer and stuff, the difference between a rich guy and a poor guy, to me, is nothing. Because I don’t like big houses, I don’t drive a car, so you know, I just live in a small apartment and I have my computer, which is really cool. – Norm MacDonald
I’m a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don’t remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. – Norm MacDonald
I’ve just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn’t know them, I wouldn’t know they were funny from the television. I don’t know what it does, it just sucks it away. – Norm MacDonald
I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world. – Norm MacDonald
I like to do talk show appearances where I get to just be myself, and I do stand-up where I can completely be myself. That’s what I’ve always loved the most, of anything. – Norm MacDonald
I watch political shows for a number of weeks in a row, and all I see are guys arguing with each other over issues I have no idea about. My brother, he loves war-torn places. My dad would always read the paper and tell me I should watch CNN, but I usually wind up watching ‘Breaking Bad.’ – Norm MacDonald
I don’t really like doing big stand-up. Whenever I do theaters, I don’t like ’em. I don’t think they’re right for stand-up. I’ve seen people in theaters, and it just doesn’t work, because you’re talking to the guy next to you the whole time. – Norm MacDonald
I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end, you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world. – Norm MacDonald
