Pride and Prejudice Vanity Quotes

A most disagreeable, horrid man, not at all worth pleasing - Pride and Prejudice

"But I can assure you," she added, "that Lizzy does not lose much by not suiting his fancy; for he is a most disagreeable, horrid man, not at all worth pleasing. So high and so conceited that there was no enduring him! He walked here, and he walked there, fancying himself so very great! Not handsome enough to dance with! I wish you had been there, my dear, to have given him one of your set-downs. I quite detest the man."

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 3. Mrs. Bennet hasn’t any good word to say to Mr. Bennet about Mr. Darcy after she and the Bennet girls return home from the Meryton ball. She detests Darcy for his attitude towards Elizabeth at the ball, and is particularly vexed at him for slighting her daughter by not asking her to dance. Mrs. Bennet is quick to judge Mr. Darcy and forms a strong prejudice against him, based purely on first impressions, labeling him as vain and conceited.
Bingley sisters in Pride and Prejudice

They were in fact very fine ladies; not deficient in good humour when they were pleased, nor in the power of being agreeable where they chose it, but proud and conceited. They were rather handsome, had been educated in one of the first private seminaries in town, had a fortune of twenty thousand pounds, were in the habit of spending more than they ought, and of associating with people of rank, and were therefore in every respect entitled to think well of themselves, and meanly of others. They were of a respectable family in the north of England; a circumstance more deeply impressed on their memories than that their brother’s fortune and their own had been acquired by trade.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 4. The narrator paints us a picture of the Bingley sisters Caroline and Louisa. We learn that they are rich, proud, conceited and like to associate with other people of equally high rank. We are told, with Austen’s penchant for irony, that they are "in every respect entitled to think well of themselves, and meanly of others" – which of course they are not entitled to.

"Pride," observed Mary, who piqued herself upon the solidity of her reflections, "is a very common failing, I believe. By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed; that human nature is particularly prone to it, and that there are very few of us who do not cherish a feeling of self-complacency on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary. Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us."

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 5. The girls are discussing Mr. Darcy and what they perceive to be his pride. Mary Bennet, who likes to philosophize and moralize, distinguishes between pride and vanity. She explains that pride is more about our opinion of ourselves and vanity how we would have others think of us. Both are major themes in the novel, and are evident in the characters of Elizabeth, Mr. Collins, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, as well as Mr. Darcy. Mary is showing off here, and so ironically displays the pride and vanity that she is preaching about in others.

It is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a woman conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it, she may lose the opportunity of fixing him; and it will then be but poor consolation to believe the world equally in the dark. There is so much of gratitude or vanity in almost every attachment, that it is not safe to leave any to itself. We can all begin freely – a slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement. In nine cases out of ten a women had better show more affection than she feels.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 6. Charlotte has a very pragmatic view of love, born of necessity from the patriarchal society that the women of the novel live in. If a woman remains single, especially one of modest means, then she could face an uncertain financial future. So Charlotte’s philosophy on love is that a woman must show more affection than she feels and use manipulation to get a husband. Charlotte is speaking to Elizabeth here about her sister Jane’s attraction to Charles Bingley, advising that Jane should not conceal her affection for Bingley but display it more openly to him.

Mary had neither genius nor taste; and though vanity had given her application, it had given her likewise a pedantic air and conceited manner, which would have injured a higher degree of excellence than she had reached.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 6. The narrator describes Mary, the plainest of the Bennet sisters, as she plays the piano at Netherfield. Austen is unsparing in her depiction of Mary: no genius, no taste, vain and conceited. It’s no surprise that Mary’s musical performance in showing off by playing a long concerto is a lot less popular than Elizabeth’s, even though she plays twice as well.

To walk three miles, or four miles, or five miles, or whatever it is, above her ankles in dirt, and alone, quite alone! what could she mean by it? It seems to me to show an abominable sort of conceited independence, a most country-town indifference to decorum.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 8. Elizabeth’s independence of spirit is what makes her a hero to many Jane Austen readers, and these include women the world over today. But Caroline Bingley, one of the novel’s villains who is jealous of Elizabeth, remains unimpressed. Here she berates Lizzy’s three-mile walk to see her ill sister as an exercise in conceit and lack of decorum.

Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed. But pride – where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 11. When Elizabeth calls Mr. Darcy out on what she believes are his weaknesses, pride and vanity, he shows some self-awareness by actually acknowledging his defects. But he doesn’t see pride as a weakness where there is "superiority of mind" and it is properly controlled. That may sound arrogant, but he a point there.

"There is something very pompous in his style. – And what can he mean by apologising for being next in the entail? – We cannot suppose he would help it if he could. – Could he be a sensible man, sir?"
"No, my dear, I think not. I have great hopes of finding him quite the reverse. There is a mixture of servility and self-importance in his letter, which promises well. I am impatient to see him"

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 13. Elizabeth and her father are commenting on Mr. Collins and his letter to the Bennets, whose Longbourn estate he is to inherit and which he is about to visit. In the letter he expresses the hope that "the circumstance of my being next in the entail of Longbourn estate will be kindly overlooked on your side, and not lead you to reject the offered olive-branch." We gain a good glimpse of Mr. Collins’s character from the Bennets’ comments – pompous, servile to his patron Lady Catherine de Bourgh and for a clergyman unusually vain and full of his own self-importance.

"It is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study?"
"They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time, and though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible."

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 14. Mr. Bennet is making fun of Mr. Collins and being ironical at his guest’s expense when he compliments him on his talent of "flattering with delicacy." But Mr. Collins is too dense and full of his own vanity to notice it. In his reply Collins admits to thinking up compliments and practising them so that present them at the right time as if they came naturally.

The subjection in which his father had brought him up had given him originally great humility of manner; but it was now a good deal counteracted by the self-conceit of a weak head, living in retirement, and the consequential feelings of early and unexpected prosperity. A fortunate chance had recommended him to Lady Catherine de Bourgh when the living of Hunsford was vacant; and the respect which he felt for her high rank, and his veneration for her as his patroness, mingling with a very good opinion of himself, of his authority as a clergyman, and his right as a rector, made him altogether a mixture of pride and obsequiousness, self-importance and humility.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 15. In the novel Mr. Collins – like his patroness Lady Catherine de Bourgh – is a caricature of a proud and conceited person. He is described in this passage as a man full of pride and his own self-importance and obsequiousness towards his patroness Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

Having now a good house and a very sufficient income, he intended to marry…he meant to choose one of the daughters, if he found them as handsome and amiable as they were represented by common report. This was his plan of amends – of atonement – for inheriting their father’s estate; and he thought it an excellent one, full of eligibility and suitableness, and excessively generous and disinterested on his own part.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 15. At a time when women’s legal access to property in England was limited, Mr. Collins is due to inherit Longbourn on the death of Mr. Bennet. Now that he has a good income and house, he decides that it is time to marry. Seeing himself as a fountain of generosity and kindness, he decides to choose one of the Bennet daughters to make amends to the family over the loss of their home. Austen is an expert at writing ironic statements and the tone throughout this passage is without doubt ironic, for Collins admires himself for sharing with one of the Bennet girls the wealth that he took from them in the first place. The description of the puffed-up clergyman celebrating his high-mindedness marks Austen out as the supreme satirist. Mr. Collins has no self-awareness of how ridiculous he is.

She had dressed with more than usual care, and prepared in the highest spirits for the conquest of all that remained unsubdued of his heart, trusting that it was not more than might be won in the course of the evening. But in an instant arose the dreadful suspicion of his being purposely omitted for Mr. Darcy’s pleasure in the Bingleys’ invitation to the officers; and though this was not exactly the case, the absolute fact of his absence was pronounced by his friend Denny, to whom Lydia eagerly applied, and who told them that Wickham had been obliged to go to town on business the day before, and was not yet returned; adding, with a significant smile, "I do not imagine his business would have called him away just now, if he had not wanted to avoid a certain gentleman here."

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 18. Elizabeth’s romantic feelings for George Wickham suffer a setback at the Netherfield ball. Displaying her vanity by dressing "with more than usual care" to capture his heart, she is disappointed to discover that he isn’t there. Immediately her blatent prejudice against Mr. Darcy causes her to blame him for Wickham’s "omission" from the invitation list.

Believe me, my dear Miss Elizabeth, that your modesty, so far from doing you any disservice, rather adds to your other perfections. You would have been less amiable in my eyes had there not been this little unwillingness.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 19. Mr. Collins is about to enter the record books for making the worst marriage proposal in English literature. But Elizabeth attempts to leave the room before he begins, as because she clearly has no desire to hear him out. In an excellent example of dramatic irony, Mr. Collins mistakingly attributes her "little unwillingness" to her "modesty" and says this makes her even more "amiable" to him. Mr. Collins misreads the situation because of his vanity.

It is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept, when he first applies for their favour; and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second, or even a third time. I am therefore by no means discouraged by what you have just said.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 19. There is dramatic irony here, because the reader knows that Elizabeth is being sincere in her refusal of Mr. Collins’s proposal of marriage, but he interprets it as a sign of her being modest. Mr. Collins is just one of those men who refuses to hear the word "no." He is being rather full of himself with his sense of self-importance, thinking that he is God’s gift to unmarried women looking for a husband.

In spite of your manifold attractions, it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made to you. Your portion is unhappily so small that it will in all likelihood undo the effects of your loveliness and amiable qualifications.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 19. Mr. Collin’s proposal to Elizabeth is probably the most famous and worst marriage proposal in literature. And this passage would be hard to surpass for the top prize for the worst chat-up line ever! When Elizabeth politely turns him down, Mr. Collins comes back to tell her that she may never get another marriage offer – he, in effect, is her last chance saloon! He demeans her by insulting her (and all women) that her income is so little she will never get another chance of winning a husband. And this is how Mr. Collins asks for a woman’s hand in marriage? What arrogance and vanity! Mr. Collins obviously never went to charm school, he never felt the need to as he thinks so highly of himself!

"It is very often nothing but our own vanity that deceives us. Women fancy admiration means more than it does."
"And men take care that they should."

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 24. This exchange between Jane and Elizabeth takes place after Charles Bingley suddenly ups and leaves Meryton and Jane. While Elizabeth is critical of Bingley and his sister, Jane refuses to attach bad motives to them. She believes that women’s vanity often leads to self-deceit and a woman thinking that a man likes them more than he does.

Mr. Collins’s triumph, in consequence of this invitation, was complete. The power of displaying the grandeur of his patroness to his wondering visitors, and of letting them see her civility towards himself and his wife, was exactly what he had wished for; and that an opportunity of doing it should be given so soon, was such an instance of Lady Catherine’s condescension, as he knew not how to admire enough.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 29. A puffed-up Mr. Collins glories in the invitation to him and his party to dine with Lady Catherine de Bourgh at her home at Rosings. He cannot wait for the opportunity to show off the "graudeur" of his aristocratic patroness and her friendliness towards him and his wife. Mr. Collins is the stuff of satire, a clergyman full of his own vanity and obsessed with social rank and showing a fawning obsequiousness towards the upper class.

Do not make yourself uneasy, my dear cousin, about your apparel. Lady Catherine is far from requiring that elegance of dress in us which becomes herself and daughter. I would advise you merely to put on whatever of your clothes is superior to the rest…she likes to have the distinction of rank preserved.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 29. Mr. Collins tells Elizabeth this when they are invited to dine with Lady Catherine de Bourgh at Rosings. The ridiculous snobbery, vanity and obsession with social rank of both Mr. Collins and Lady Catherine are beautifully satirized in this passage where Mr. Collins suggests Elizabeth doesn’t have an elegant dress.

Her air was not conciliating, nor was her manner of receiving them such as to make her visitors forget their inferior rank. She was not rendered formidable by silence; but whatever she said was spoken in so authoritative a tone, as marked her self-importance.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 29. Lady Catherine de Bourgh is one of Austen’s great comic creations. She is an insufferable snob, full of her own self-importance, boastful, speaks with authority, and ensures that her visitors don’t forget their inferior rank. This is how Elizabeth finds her when she visits the great lady at her home. Austen is using satire here to ridicule the extreme snobbishness and class-consciousness of the English grande dame.

From the very beginning, from the first moment, I may almost say, of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 34. Elizabeth tells Mr. Darcy off using sharp words in his famous first proposal scene. She is responding to his claim that she is refusing him out of hurt pride over his honest admission that he struggled against proposing to someone with inferior connections. She uses a metaphor to compare her dislike of him to a building constructed on the foundations of her unfavorable first impressions of him. From the first moment she thought him arrogant, vain and contemptuous of the feelings of others. He is the last man in the world she would wish to marry, she snaps.

"How despicably have I acted!" she cried; "I, who have prided myself on my discernment! I, who have valued myself on my abilities! who have often disdained the generous candour of my sister, and gratified my vanity in useless or blameable mistrust! How humiliating is this discovery! Yet, how just a humiliation! Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind! But vanity, not love, has been my folly. Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself."

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 36. This is the pivotal moment of self-knowledge and self-rebuke for Elizabeth when she realizes how much her judgment has been clouded by her own pride and prejudice. She has read the long letter from Mr. Darcy explaining himself. For her it sheds a new and clear light on the noble qualities of Darcy’s character and the deceit and predatory nature of the handsome George Wickham, all of which she had been blind to. In a moment of epiphany for her, she recognizes that her belief in her good judgment of others was mere vanity, and that she never really knew herself until now. Using a metaphor, she compares her unwillingness to see the true characters of Darcy and Wickham to the blindness that a lover has for the flaws of their beloved.

She is very young; she has never been taught to think on serious subjects; and for the last half-year, nay, for a twelvemonth – she has been given up to nothing but amusement and vanity. She has been allowed to dispose of her time in the most idle and frivolous manner, and to adopt any opinions that came in her way. Since the -shire were first quartered in Meryton, nothing but love, flirtation, and officers have been in her head.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 47. Elizabeth is highly critical of Mr. Bennet and Mrs. Bennet and their parenting of Lydia – of lack of it! She blames her teen sister’s lack of moral integrity and fall on them. They have neglected to educate her properly on serious matters. And they allowed her to indulge herself in amusement, vanity and idleless, so that her head is filled with flirtation, love and militia officers.

Her heart did whisper that he had done it for her. But it was a hope shortly checked by other considerations, and she soon felt that even her vanity was insufficient, when required to depend on his affection for her, for a woman who had already refused him, as able to overcome a sentiment so natural as abhorrence against relationship with Wickham.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 52. When Mrs. Gardiner implies that Darcy’s rescue of Lydia was motivated by love for Elizabeth, Elizabeth wants to believe this. But she soon dismisses that hope as vanity. She cannot see how Darcy would want a woman who had refused him and a family that now included Wickham.

Are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted?

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 56. Lady Catherine de Bourgh admonishes Elizabeth over the idea of her marrying Mr. Darcy. Displaying her extreme snobbery and vanity, Lady Catherine travels all the way from her estate to the Bennets’ home to ensure that her pure family blood is not "polluted" by what she sees as an unthinkable alliance between her nephew and Bennets with their inferior blood. This is the fuller quote from the desperate lady: "Not so hasty, if you please. I have by no means done. To all the objections I have already urged, I have still another to add. I am no stranger to the particulars of your youngest sister’s infamous elopement. I know it all: that the young man’s marrying her was a patched-up business, at the expence of your father and uncle. And is such a girl to be my nephew’s sister? Is her husband, is the son of his late father’s steward, to be his brother? Heaven and earth – of what are you thinking? Are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted?"

I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased.

– Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 58. Mr. Darcy’s journey to self-discovery has brought him to this important moment of clarity and humility. Darcy has just proposed to Elizabeth and she has accepted. In this speech to Elizabeth he acknowledges his selfishness and pride and vanity all his life, having being spoiled by both parents. His father taught him to be overbearing, to care for none outside his family circle, and also to think meanly of the worth of others compared to his own. He acknowledges the debt that he owes to Elizabeth for changing all that: humbling him and ridding him of his pretensions. His deep love for Elizabeth comes through when he tenderly refers to her as "a woman worthy of being pleased."
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