More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments. – Robert Orben
Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it’s filled with wisdom. Sometimes it’s filled with feet. – Robert Orben
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. – Robert Orben
Washington is a place where politicians don’t know which way is up and taxes don’t know which way is down. – Robert Orben
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee – or laugh. – Robert Orben
Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. – Robert Orben
There’s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren’t for our lungs there’d be no place to put it all. – Robert Orben
Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price. – Robert Orben
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success. – Robert Orben
I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself. – Robert Orben
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. – Robert Orben
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. – Robert Orben
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right? – Robert Orben
