Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It’s not like I’m handy. – Seth Meyers
My mother is an incredibly beautiful woman who has laughed at every single thing my father’s ever said. At a young age, my brother and I understood that if you can make girls laugh, you can punch well above your weight class. – Seth Meyers
People appreciate it when you take some time to think about who will be listening to your jokes. – Seth Meyers
When my girlfriend and I talk about being happy, I’ll get choked up, which I think is the greatest gift you can give a girlfriend. – Seth Meyers
I’m a terrible grocery shopper. I hardly ever do it. And if I do, there’s never more than three things in the bag. – Seth Meyers
‘SNL’ after-parties are sort of like a time to celebrate your successes and drown your sorrows, depending on how the show went for you. – Seth Meyers
I love cheese plates. Though I actually hate cheese plates. Because I can’t say no to them. – Seth Meyers
The nice thing about anger is that, as an emotion, it’s strong enough to unplug me from the comedian’s mind for a minute and just be a frustrated member of the citizenry. – Seth Meyers
The first time I had disposable income, the two things I cared most about were a television and a couch. – Seth Meyers
It’s nice when I get offered small parts. But I really think that ‘SNL’ is what my skill set is best designed for. – Seth Meyers
