On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing. – Stephen Leacock
Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn’t. – Stephen Leacock
What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn’t. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day’s work in his last fifty years. – Stephen Leacock
Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so. – Stephen Leacock
It is to be observed that ‘angling’ is the name given to fishing by people who can’t fish. – Stephen Leacock
Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it. – Stephen Leacock
Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it. – Stephen Leacock
We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor. – Stephen Leacock
Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself – it is the occurring which is difficult. – Stephen Leacock
It’s called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy. – Stephen Leacock
There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike – information and wit. – Stephen Leacock
A sportsman is a man who every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something. – Stephen Leacock
He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions. – Stephen Leacock
The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine. – Stephen Leacock
Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica. – Stephen Leacock
I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so. – Stephen Leacock
It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required. – Stephen Leacock
The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram – that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything. – Stephen Leacock
Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect. – Stephen Leacock
