If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in the United States would have to be killed tomorrow. – Steve Allen
Asthma doesn’t seem to bother me any more unless I’m around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar. – Steve Allen
I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That’s how I lost my mind. – Steve Allen
Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances. – Steve Allen
In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders. – Steve Allen
One of the nice things about problems is that a good many of them do not exist except in our imaginations. – Steve Allen
