W. C. Fields Quotes

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

– W. C. Fields

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

– W. C. Fields

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

– W. C. Fields

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

– W. C. Fields

If there’s a will, prosperity can’t be far behind.

– W. C. Fields

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

– W. C. Fields

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

– W. C. Fields

I don’t know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

– W. C. Fields

I like children – fried.

– W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

– W. C. Fields

I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.

– W. C. Fields

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

– W. C. Fields

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.

– W. C. Fields

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

– W. C. Fields

Sleep – the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

– W. C. Fields

If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.

– W. C. Fields

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

– W. C. Fields

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

– W. C. Fields

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

– W. C. Fields

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

– W. C. Fields

It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

– W. C. Fields

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

– W. C. Fields