Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. – Woody Allen
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. – Woody Allen
As the poet said, ‘Only God can make a tree,’ probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. – Woody Allen
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. – Woody Allen
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. – Woody Allen
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. – Woody Allen
In Beverly Hills… they don’t throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows. – Woody Allen
I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. – Woody Allen
Right now it’s only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea. – Woody Allen
If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative. – Woody Allen
