Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There’s just too much money. – Zach Galifianakis
I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn’t seem too preachy because you’re also making people laugh, so it’s really kind of a good tool for messaging. – Zach Galifianakis
I understand Tea Partyers’ anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can’t be part of that. – Zach Galifianakis
I kind of put myself out there as is. I’m a quiet person. I don’t know if that’s surprising. I’m a Pilates junkie. – Zach Galifianakis
I can get away with anything. But when I try to be sincere, people just roll their eyes. – Zach Galifianakis
There was a long time where I was an ‘artist’ in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend. – Zach Galifianakis
We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I’ve ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the ‘Girlfriend in a Coma’ is, like, really funny. – Zach Galifianakis
Hollywood’s built on insecurity. People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way. – Zach Galifianakis
My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I’m pronouncing that right. I’m named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis. – Zach Galifianakis
Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they’re done towards yourself. – Zach Galifianakis
People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother’s basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I’ve gotten work is because I’ve somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I’ve been asked to auditions. – Zach Galifianakis
I’ve been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women. – Zach Galifianakis
I try to write three jokes every day. I don’t sit down and write them, it’s just things that pop into my head. Then I’ll go watch it fail onstage that night. – Zach Galifianakis
You know, sometimes if you work – if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least, there is a delirium that starts kicking in on the fifteenth hour, and that can help. Below the just thirteenth hour is where I have a concern, because everybody’s so tired. – Zach Galifianakis
That’s one of the great things about comedy: we can – and should – say the things that other people aren’t supposed to say. If we didn’t do that, if we didn’t push against those limits, we’d just be standing around onstage and yelling. – Zach Galifianakis
A good stand-up, you lead the audience. You don’t kowtow to the audience. Sometimes the audience is wrong. I always think the audience is wrong. – Zach Galifianakis
Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I’m not that kind of person. – Zach Galifianakis
I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do. – Zach Galifianakis
As a comic, it’s anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I’m very trepidatious about it. – Zach Galifianakis
I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I’m stunning. But I’ve gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I’ve put on, the more success I’ve had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that. – Zach Galifianakis
I talk to younger actor types, and they bring up that word, ‘brand,’ and it’s like, ‘All right, if that’s the way you want to look at yourself.’ Diet Pepsi’s a brand; you’re a human being. – Zach Galifianakis
When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria – not necessarily by choice – but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren’t there. – Zach Galifianakis
