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Topic: Funny Sex Quotes - Funny Quotes
about Sex, Sayings |
1 Funny Sex Quotes 2 |
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need
a place.
Billy Crystal
An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more
interesting than sex.
Aldous Huxley
I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75, so it's no distance.
Bob Monkhouse
A girls legs are her best friends, but the best of friends
must part.
Redd Foxx
As a lover, Im about as impressive as a magician on the
radio.
Scott Roeben
Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water
bottles.
George Mikes
Conversation like television set on honeymoon
unnecessary.
Peter Sellers
As Mr Wang in Murder by Death.
Dont have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon
you have to start talking to them.
Steve Martin
Ducking for apples change one letter and its the
story of my life.
Dorothy Parker
He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he
failed his practical.
Les Dawson
Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.
Dave Letterman
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty
miles away.
Phyllis Diller
I practice safe sex I use an airbag.
Garry Shandling
I think I mentioned to Bob [Geldof] I could make love for eight
hours. What I didnt say was that this included four hours
of begging and then dinner and a movie.
Sting
Ill come and make love to you at five oclock. If
Im late, start without me.
Tallulah Bankhead
Im a terrible lover. Ive actually given a woman
an anti-climax.
Scott Roeben
It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting
married.
Drew Carey
Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I
can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns
Ive been in more laps than a napkin.
Mae West
Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the
articles are lying.
Rita Rudner
My girlfriend always laughs during sex no matter what
shes reading.
Steve Jobs
Personally I know nothing about sex because Ive always
been married.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Sex appeal is 50% what youve got and 50% what people think
youve got.
Sophia Loren
Sex is a two-way treat.
Franklin P Jones
Sex is better than talk
Talk is what you suffer through
so you can get to sex.
Woody Allen
Sex is Gods joke on human beings.
Bette Davis
Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff
is out of your price range.
Scott Roeben
Sex is like bridge: If you dont have a good partner, you
better have a good hand.
Charles Pierce
Sex is more fun than cars but cars refuel quicker than men.
Germaine Greer
Sex is nature, and I believe in going along with nature.
Marilyn Monroe
Sex is the best high. Its better than any drug. I want
to die making love because it feels so good.
Bai Ling
Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between
a happily married man and his secretary.
Barry Humphries
The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated
a schizophrenic.
Rita Rudner
Theres a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that
many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They
say they cause severe swelling. So whats the problem?
Phyllis Diller
Whats the most popular pastime in America? Auto eroticism,
hands down.
Scott Roeben
When I came here, I couldnt speak a word of English, but
my sex life was perfect. Now my English is perfect but my sex
life is rubbish.
Julio Iglesias |
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