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Topic: Funny Sex Quotes - Funny Quotes about Sex, Sayings
More funny sex quotes 1 Funny Sex Quotes 2
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal

An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.
Aldous Huxley

I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75, so it's no distance.
Bob Monkhouse

A girl’s legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.
Redd Foxx

As a lover, I’m about as impressive as a magician on the radio.
Scott Roeben

Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles.
George Mikes

Conversation like television set on honeymoon…unnecessary.
Peter Sellers
As Mr Wang in Murder by Death.

Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
Steve Martin

Ducking for apples – change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
Dorothy Parker

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.
Les Dawson

Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.
Dave Letterman

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
Phyllis Diller

I practice safe sex – I use an airbag.
Garry Shandling

I think I mentioned to Bob [Geldof] I could make love for eight hours. What I didn’t say was that this included four hours of begging and then dinner and a movie.
Sting

I’ll come and make love to you at five o’clock. If I’m late, start without me.
Tallulah Bankhead

I’m a terrible lover. I’ve actually given a woman an anti-climax.
Scott Roeben

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
Drew Carey

It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns

I’ve been in more laps than a napkin.
Mae West

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.
Rita Rudner

My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
Steve Jobs

Personally I know nothing about sex because I’ve always been married.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.
Sophia Loren

Sex is a two-way treat.
Franklin P Jones

Sex is better than talk…Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
Woody Allen

Sex is God’s joke on human beings.
Bette Davis

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.
Scott Roeben

Sex is like bridge: If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
Charles Pierce

Sex is more fun than cars but cars refuel quicker than men.
Germaine Greer

Sex is nature, and I believe in going along with nature.
Marilyn Monroe

Sex is the best high. It’s better than any drug. I want to die making love because it feels so good.
Bai Ling

Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.
Barry Humphries

The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.
Rita Rudner

There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?
Phyllis Diller

What’s the most popular pastime in America? Auto eroticism, hands down.
Scott Roeben

When I came here, I couldn’t speak a word of English, but my sex life was perfect. Now my English is perfect but my sex life is rubbish.
Julio Iglesias
More funny sex quotes 1 Funny Sex Quotes 2



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