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Authors: Glee Quotes, Funny Glee Quotes, Sayings, Quotations from the TV comedy

SUE SYLVESTER: [at cheerleading practice] You think this is hard? Try being waterboarded, that's hard!
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: [at cheerleading practice] You think this is hard? I'm living with hepatitis, that's hard!
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: Iron tablet? Keeps your strength up while you're menstruating.
WILL SCHUESTER: I don't menstruate.
SUE SYLVESTER: Yeah? Neither do I.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help, but picturing birds laying sulfurous eggs in there and I find it disgusting.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: [Picking out the minority glee kids] Santana! Wheels! Gay Kid! Come on move it! Asian! Other Asian! Aretha! Shaft!
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: I’m going to ask you to smell your armpits. That’s the smell of failure, and it’s stinking up my office.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: That was the most offensive thing I’ve seen in 20 years of teaching — and that includes an elementary school production of Hair.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: I can’t stand the sight of kids getting emotional, unless it’s from physical exhaustion.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: Lady justice wept tonight.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: [to Emma] Your resentment is delicious.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: I wanna pit these kids against one another, am I clear? Quinn, update. Go.
QUINN FABRAY: The minority students don't feel like they're being heard.
SUE SYLVESTER: Ah, a chink in the armor, huh? I am going to create an environment that it so toxic, no one will want to be a part of that club. Like the time I sold my house to a nice young couple, and I salted the earth in the backyard so that nothing living could grow there for a hundred years. You know why I did that? Because they tried to get me to pay their closing costs.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: [writing in journal] Glee club. Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth breathers it only comes back stronger like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain. Here I am, about to turn 30, and I've sacrificed everything only to be shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a kabal of doughy misshapen teens. Am I missing something, Journal? Is it me? Of course its not me. Its Will Scheuster. What is it about him, Journal? Is it the arrogant smirk? Is it the store-bought home perm? You know, Journal, I noticed something yesterday. Of course. Its coming clear to me now. If I cant destroy the club, I will have to destroy the man!
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: I'm all about empowerment. I empower my cherrios to live in a constant state of fear by creating an environment of irrational random terror.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: Dear Journal, Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn, when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer. And then at Cheerios practice, disaster. It was unmistakable. It was like spotting the first spark on the Hindenburg. A quiver. That quiver will lose us Nationals. Without a championship, I'll lose my endorsements, and without those endorsements, I won't be able to buy my hovercraft.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: Your illustrations of persecution are a tell tale sign of early stage paranoia schizophrenia.
Glee
TERRI SCHUESTER: This is where our daughter or gay son will sleep.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: We're dealing with children, they need to be terrified, it's like mothers milk to them - without it their bones won't grow properly.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: I've never wanted kids... don't have the time, don't have the uterus.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: You are about to board the SUE SYLVESTER Express. Destination: Horror!
Glee
PUCK: Are you questioning my badassness?
Glee
PUCK: We are two good looking Jews.
Glee
PUCK: When I woke up, I knew it was a message from God. Rachel was a hot Jew and the Good Lord wanted me to get into her pants.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: I hear people say “that’s not how I define marriage.” Well to them I say “love knows no bounds.” Why can’t people marry dogs? I’m certainly not advocating intimacy with your pets, I for one think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling. So woof, I’m pro-15-Ohio.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark cold night, I’ll steal away into your home and punch you in the face.
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: I'll often yell at homeless people "Hey, how's that homelessness working out for you?" Give NOT being homeless a try!"
Glee
SUE SYLVESTER: I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go to college? I don't know. I don't care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers and gardeners.
Glee
ARTIE ABRANS: We plan on smacking them down like the hand of god.
Glee
QUINN: What are you doing Friday night?
PUCK: Just the usual. Stand outside the 7-Eleven and look depressed until someone offers to buy me beer.
Glee
Glee is an American musical comedy-drama television series, first broadcast in 2009. It focuses on a high school show choir (also known as a glee club) and is set in a fictional school in Ohio..


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