Brian's Mother: He's not the messiah. He's a very naughty
boy!
Monty Python's Life of Brian |
Brian: I'm not a Roman mum, I'm a kike, a yid, a heebie, a
hook-nose, I'm kosher mum, I'm a Red Sea pedestrian, and proud
of it!
Monty Python's Life of Brian |
Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine,
education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water
system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for
us?
PFJ Member: Brought peace?
Reg: Oh, peace - shut up!
Monty Python's Life of Brian |
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
Monty Python's Life of Brian
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
- song |
King Arthur: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take
your castle by force!
French Guard: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and
boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at
you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets.
Thpppppt! Thppt!Thppt!
Galahad: What a strange person.
King Arthur: Now look here, my good man--
French Guard: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed
animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction!
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Galahad: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
French Guard: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second
time-a!
Monty Python and the Holy Grail |
Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
King Arthur: Who are you?
Head Knight: We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'!
Monty Python and the Holy Grail |
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through
twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade
up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade,
that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in
thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did
feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and
orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large
chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou
take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no
more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count,
and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt
thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou
then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number
three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou
thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being
naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
|
King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's
arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail |
French Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go
and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my
nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all
your silly English K-nig-hts.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail |
Catholic Dad (singing): Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Catholic Daughter (singing): Let the heathens spill theirs,
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay,
For each sperm that can't be found.
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Every Sperm is Sacred - song
|