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Shakespeare Insults, Put-Downs and Cusses
Shakespeare Insults 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12
If you want to insult someone, why not do it with some style? There was no sharper master of the withering put-down and deliciously hurtful jab than William Shakespeare. Here are 668 of the Bard's wickedest insults...

Is there no military policy, how virgins might blow up men.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 1. 1

Virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 1. 1

Your virginity, your old virginity, is like one of our French wither'd pears: it looks ill, it eats drily.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 1. 1

Get thee a good husband, and use him as he uses thee.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 1. 1

You should answer very well to a whipping.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 2. 2

Scurvy, old, filthy, scurvy lord.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 2. 3

Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 2. 3

I think thou wast created for men to breathe themselves upon thee.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 2. 3

France is a dog-hole.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 2. 3

You are not worth another word, else I'd call you knave.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 2. 3

Were I his lady
I would poison that vile rascal.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 3. 5

He's a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner of no one good quality.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 3. 6

He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 4. 3

Drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be swine-drunk.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 4. 3

I saw the man today, if man he be.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well 5. 3

This woman's an easy glove, my lord; she goes off and on at pleasure.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 5. 3

She does abuse to our ears.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well, 5. 3

No more light answers.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 1. 2

Pray you stand farther from me.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 1. 3

I should take you for idleness itself.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 1. 3

A man who is the abstract of all faults
That all men follow.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 1. 4

Die a beggar.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 1. 5

I will give thee bloody teeth.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 1. 5

There's no goodness in thy face.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 2. 5

The most infectious pestilence upon thee.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 2. 5

Hence,
Horrible villain, or I'll spurn thine eyes
Like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head,
Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd in brine,
Smarting in lingering pickle.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 2. 5

Rogue, thou hast liv'd too long.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 2. 5

Go get thee hence,
Hadst thou Narcissus in thy face, to me
Thou wouldst appear most ugly.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 2. 5

Their tongues rot that speak against us.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 3. 7

Think, and die.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 3. 13

Thou art so leaky
That we must leave thee to thy sinking.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 3. 13

We'll beat 'em into the bench-holes.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 4. 7

Greatest spot of all thy sex.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 4. 12

In their thick breaths,
Rank of gross diet, shall we be enclouded,
And forc'd to drink their vapour.
William Shakespeare
Anthony and Cleopatra, 5. 2

Her benefits are mightily misplaced.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 1. 2

Where is this young gallant that is so desirous to lie with his mother earth.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 1. 2

What shall I call thee when thou art a man.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 1. 3

Like the toad, ugly and venomous.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 2. 1

I think he be transform'd into a beast,
For I can nowhere find him like a man.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 2. 7

Truly thou art damned, like an ill-roasted egg, all on one side.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 3. 2

God help thee, shallow man.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 3. 2

You'll be rotten ere you be half ripe.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 3. 2

Is his head worth a hat? Or his chin worth a beard.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 3. 2

Let's meet as little as we can.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 3. 2

I do desire we may be better strangers.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 3. 2

By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I found you.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 3. 2

I am glad of your departure. Adieu good Monsieur Melancholy.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 3. 2

'Tis such fools as you
That makes the world full of ill-favor'd children.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 3. 5

Men are April when they woo, December when they wed.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 4. 1

You met your wife's wit going to your neighbor's bed.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 4. 1

Conceived of spleen and born of madness.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 4. 1

Love hath made thee a tame snake.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 4. 3

I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways. Therefore tremble and depart.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 5. 1

God mend your voices.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It ,5. 3

Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools.
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 5. 4

When the sun shines let foolish gnats make sport.
William Shakespeare
The Comedy of Errors, 2. 2
Shakespeare Insults 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12


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