In Alive Does one of us have to come out alive? – Kamala Harris Joking on The Ellen Show, when asked if she would rather be stuck in elevator with Donald Trump, Mike Pence, or Jeff Sessions.
Everything is up for grabs, it’s how we do it. I have always said there’s never a subject that you shouldn’t talk about or joke about. It just depends what the joke is. And people get offended when they mistake the subject of the joke with the actual target. – Ricky Gervais
To single out a particular group and say we can’t make a joke about them is almost a form of prejudice and it’s kind of patronizing. – Sacha Baron Cohen
Day 3 without sports. Found a lady sitting on my couch yesterday. Apparently she is my wife. She seems nice. – Unknown Some men found life without sports tough during coronavirus lockdown.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says “I’ll have a Corona please, hold the virus” – Unknown
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant “what kills the coronavirus?” She replied to me “Ammonia Cleaner” I said “Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here” – Unknown
*Breaking News!* – Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stock piled “just in case”. The whole lot collapsed and buried him. – Unknown
They said that a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket. They lied, everyone else has clothes on. – Unknown
Chuck Norris has been exposed to the coronavirus. The virus is now in quarantine for a month. – Unknown
I like to joke that I already married a 26-year-old and divorced a 29-year-old, so I wasn’t going to do that again when I got remarried. – Grant Show
My writers on ‘Liv And Maddie’ have started a running joke to try and sneak as many ‘literally’s into the script as they can to throw me. – Dove Cameron
